Star Wars Episode V, shortened version!

[Imperial Droid] PARACHUTE!!! PARACHPFTFFFFFFF!!!

[Luke] Eco 3, Eco 7. Han, friend, do you copy?
[Han Solo] Damm boy, what's Eco for?
[Luke] huh?
[Han Solo] It's so you don't have to speak my name on open comm lines, dammit!

[Monster] FUHWAAAAAA!!!

[Han Solo] So?
[General] Nothing, see!
click click click

[Lea] So you're leaving! Just like that!
[Han Solo] Is that a question?
[Lea] No shit! All that to not change the bathroom's screen for tempered glass!
[Han Solo] What?
[Lea] Didn't teach me how to make a blog! Didn't upload our photos to Flickr! Didn't put the damn footnote!

[Han Solo] You're nuts!
[Lea] Are you really gonna leave me in this cold rock?
[Han Solo] Girl, this was a tropical planet before you arrived!

[Lea] You have no cons-
[Han Solo] Wait, today's 15, right?
[Lea] Huh? Yeah...
[Han Solo] And you're shoving Ponstan down?
[Lea] I...took one this morning...

[Han Solo] Hah! See how I know you? Call me by 20!

[Luke] "Fuhwaaa... tadaa..." Catchy tune...

[Obi Wan] Luke

[Luke] Jaga?

[Obi Wan] No, i'm the gost of christmas past. You'll go to Dagobah. There, learn with Yoda, the Jedi master that taught me.

[Luke] Yoghi? That doggy with a house on his head?

[Obi Wan] If you aren't gonna take me seriously, I'll leave...
[Luke] No no no no, I got it! Yoga classes with master Dagobah!
[Obi Wan] ...


[Lea] Damn, isn't that the sixth time he dies in the snow?
[Han Solo] That kaminoan cloning tank never worked so much!

[Han Solo] She plays difficult, boy, but let her drink three shots of Jawa Juice...
[Chewbacca] Urrrhnn Wrron…

[Luke] Chewie's kidding, right?
[Han Solo] No, no! Both of us at once!

[Han Solo] Woa! Don't die so young...princess!
[Lea] Shut up, bumpkin, i'm not here to talk to you.

[Han Solo] Pierce my eye!
[Chewbacca] Wruunh!
[C3P0] A Slug? where?

[Almirant Ozzel] Look there. Why the hell does he keep looking at space so much?
[General Veers] Seems he bought an air filter and when they delivered, he didn't hear the intercom.

[Almirant Ozzel] Air Filter? You believed that? The guy speaks while breathing!
[General Veers] I like his voice.

[Vader] Hey man, what's up?
[Almirant Ozzel] ...
[Capitão Piett] ...

[Vader] This ship stinks of men! Let's get some babes in the Yego moons!

[Almirant Ozzel] Lord Vader, this is the captain-ship of the Galactic Empire. A military vehicle of the highest belic importance. We can't lose our attention to such trivialities.

[Vader] Hey, dude? Will you stay here with Captain Triviality or let's show them chicks what Force Push stands for?


Brought to you by Jovem Nerd!

Rofl brilliant!

[Leia] The shields will be down for a short period, so don't get away from your transports.
[Pilot #16] Two Wings against a Star Destroyer?
[Leia] The Ion Cannons will disable the imperial cruisers, but you must be fast to breach the block.
[Pilot #23] Uhhhhh and if we turned around and left from the other side of the planet?
[Leia] Oth..Other side of the planet? What the hell?

[Liutenant] Yes, general! Seems they disembarked Imperial Walkers!

[General] You sure? No bombardier ship, artillery, tanks, biological weapons, EMP, MOAB? The empire underestimated us!

[Liutenant] Considering we are 12 men and 1 tower... I don't know, sir.

[General Veers] Lord Vader, the fleet left th...

[General Veers] Errr... Forgive me, Lord Vader. I didn't know you were... "thinking".

[Vader] Nah, go on. The way it's going this will take a while.

[General Veers] Without wanting to backstab anyone, Almirant Ozzel left lightspeed too close to the system, trampled a guy with a towel on his shoulder and alerted the rebels. Our troops are already land-bound...

[Vader] I've already tried everything! Plum, Linseed, Oats...

[Vader] Papaya, fibers... did you know Ozzel bought my tamarinds? The emperor said it's "dispatch and dispatch".

[Vader] Did you hit the drugstore?
[Almirant Ozzel] So... s-so many things happening at once.. the rebels and all... I forgot!

[Vader] I see...

[Almirant Ozzel] Arrghhkk..-
[Vader] So, Almirant Piett? Your idiot face isn't helping me take a dump.

Tl;Dr

God was Leia ever hot.

Nikachelle wrote:God was Leia ever hot.

her mom's much hotter.

Snake-Aes wrote:

Nikachelle wrote:God was Leia ever hot.

her mom's much hotter.

She has that old look in every movie

always makes me think of: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v7ehztRDhZc

awesome editing

Arjuna wrote:always makes me think of: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v7ehztRDhZc

awesome editing

The problem's being adaptive here. There's at least seventeen jokes on those panels that had to either be abandoned or translated differently because of the totally different contexts between people that speak Portguese and people who speak English.

[Vader] So I said: "I have the higher ground!"

[General Veers] Lord Vader...we all know...
[Vader] Highest ground in Sarlacc is Jawa!
[General Veers] My Lord... We really have to focus here...

[General Veers] The rebels are attacking with tripwires!!!

[Vader] Trip wires? Good thing we're on a trip here, huh, general? Huh? HAH!

[Luke] Attack speed! Let's get them!
[Eco 3] Err, sir... We are in an open field and they only have frontal weapons, may I suggest another strategy, Napoleon?

PFZZZT SCRRRCHT
[Luke] Wow man! Either we got shot or we reached 88mph!

[Luke] We've been hit, Dack! But don't worry...

[Luke] I'll remember this day in your memory!
[Dack] I'm ... alive, sir.
[Luke] It's as if I could still hear your voice! You live in my heart, brave warrior!
[Dack] No, really! I'm still alive! Help me outta here!

BROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMSSSSSSSSSSZZZZZTHCHHH
[Luke] FAREWELL, DACK! NOW YOU ARE ONE WITH THE FORCE!

[Luke] Wiglaf! Dickless!

[Luke] Kaaameee....haaameeee...

BROOOOOOOOOOOMMMMM
[Luke] Shake! Shake, shake the ROOM!

[Vader] Can you believe the rip off I have to pay for a night in these ice hotels?

SCHCHEUMUEMNUuemcheuneuneuneuneun
[Han Solo] Slow, Chewie, slow down or it--It's turned over! This always freaking happens, dammit!

[Lea] Should I push it?
[Han Solo] Damn, if this ship was fueled by poison we'd be in another galaxy!

FFOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONNNNNNNN
[Han Solo] Outta the way, dammit!

[Leia] The asteroid field! Asteroids!
[Han Solo] What I want to know is where's the toll's money going to.

[C3PO] Sir! The chances of successfully navigating through an asteroid field are of 3720 against 1!

[Han Solo] Yeah, old junk? Look at this then!
VROOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM
[Han Solo] NO BRAKES!!!

[Leia] That crevice! Over THERE!
[Han Solo] Girl you have to warn beforehand! Can't brake that fast!

[Leia] We're missing everything!
[Han Solo] YOU WANNA DRIVE IT? HUH?
[Leia] Just saying...

[Han Solo] Damn woman... OVER THERE! Giant Cave. Satisfied?

[Almirant Piett] Our ships spotted the Millenium Falcon, sir...

[Almirant Piett] ...but it entered a meatball field...

[Almirant Piett] I mean...we lost contact after a huge meatball..i mean...the rebels...MEATBAAAAAALL!!! Sorry sir...

[LUKE] Dunno, R2, there's something familiar here... It feels like I have been here before when I was a baby, though that never having really happened in Episode III


[LUKE] Freeze!
[YODA] Uurrhh! What's that Pokémon?


[LUKE] a


[YODA] Away your weapon throw! Harm to you I desire not. No,sir,away! A papaya war is on!


[YODA] How so big you get this food eating?
[LUKE] That's no food, it's my...you wouldn't get it!


[YODA] Uuurhh! Perverted you are! Solitary I am!


[YODA] Telephone, home! Uhuhuhuhuh!


[LUKE] Look, Midget, I was a fan of Kermit, but I need to find a Jedi master.


[YODA] Jedi Master? Yoda! Yoda you seek!


[LUKE] Wait, can you help me finding Yoda?

[YODA] …

[LUKE] Can you?

[YODA] …

[LUKE] …

[YODA] …


[YODA] UHUHUHuhuhuhuhUhuhUhuhhU! Four computers in Dagobah I have!


[YODA] Come! Come! P. Sherman, 42 Wallaby Way, Sydney!


[LUKE] I have a shitty feeling about this...

[LEIA] Paaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaain

[LEIA] WHAT?!
[HAN SOLO] Easy there, Oprah!

[HAN SOLO] I just don't think fixing the expresso machine is much of a priority right now.
[LEIA] Hrrmpf! What?
[HAN SOLO] Nothing…
[LEIA] Are you apologizing?
[HAN SOLO] Huh?

[LEIA] For being so rude to me in front of everyone?
[HAN SOLO] That´s what she said… I mean... what?
[LEIA] C'mon... I'm waiting!
[HAN SOLO] Hãã… Ssshhhhhhh.
[LEIA] …
[HAN SOLO] I! SSSSS...SRRIE!

[C3P0] Sir!
[HAN SOLO] Hmmm…
[C3P0] I can not find the 'beast' you said you had to tame!
[HAN SOLO] HMM!!!!

[IMPERADOR] …then he said: "Is that legal?" And I said: "I'll make it legal"

[IMPERADOR] Back then we had to convince the senators to cooperate. There were Agrippa Aldrete, Giddean Danu, Janus Greejatus, Padmé Amidala...You knew that one...
[VADER] *snores*

[IMPERADOR] Didn't you,Lord Vader?
[VADER] Zzzrch erhm Huh? Er… Of course, my master.

[IMPERADOR] The other day Mas Amedda told me: "I think we're getting too old for this, don't you think?"

[IMPERADOR] I said "Amedda, do you believe I was just 3 days from retiring when they exploded the Death Star?"
[VADER] Ffffsssssssssss… SNORE… Ffffsssssssssss…

[IMPERADOR] Then he said "I'll never"..."I'll never re"*yawns*"Never gonna"..."gonna"..."reti"...

[IMPERADOR] Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz…
[VADER] Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz…