Relationships

[Nooska]

To lighten up the mood - it's going to be a boy!

Said it last night, but it bears repeating:

Weeeeee

[Sagara]

No. yay.

[Passionario]

To lighten up the mood - it's going to be a boy!

Cheers.

(Ours still prefers to conceal his/her gender, even though it's 23rd week already)

[Sagara]

Heh - they tend to be secretive like that. We're trying to find a nice name now, but it's a bit though making everyone more or less happy.

[Nooska]

Your job is to make the boy happy and the mother happy, everyone else just has to learn it isn't their child

(yeah, I know it doesn't work that way)

[Lightbeard]

Something interesting I found off Reddit

A guy asked if it's true that people claim cops have quotas for issuing tickets

My ex-gf is a cop, and here's how she explained it.

When you're getting a performance review, tickets get thrown into a big pot called "self-initiated activity." The more stuff you have in that, the better your performance review. Not just tickets/warnings, but contacting people who wave you down, investigating suspicious situations, stopping for disabled motorists, stuff like that. It shows that you are active on your job, and not just answering dispatch calls. They also want variety in that activity, so if you have 60 tickets written in two weeks, but nothing else, they're going to be asking what you are doing with your time besides sitting on a roadside (unless you've been assigned to a traffic detail).

Other things that impact your performance reviews are the percentage of your cases that get cleared, how fast they get cleared, number of civilian complaints against you, percentage of cases in which you appeared for court (mostly has to do with tickets, and shows that you are following through on your case load), amount of training you take, shifts/duties you volunteer for, and any statements made for/against you by fellow officers and supervisors.

[firstamendme]

So let's say you are dating a coworker who went home sick early yesterday. She has a penchant for letting her phone die and her charger is here in the lab. You usually talk via text constantly, but haven't heard anything from her since last night and it's already after noon. Additionally, her roommate is psychotic and verbally abusive to her, and hates you. If you don't hear from her by late afternoon, is it considered stalkerish to show up at her apartment unannounced with chicken soup and flowers?

[Amirya]

1) Define "psychotic"
2) Make sure she likes chicken soup
3) I'll let the others give the actual advice, since I'm apparently a bad option for not following the norms

[firstamendme]

More abusive than psychotic. She is constantly verbally abusive to her and hates it when she gives attention to anyone else. Such outbursts as when she didn't get her way and my girlfriend left the apartment to come see me resulted in kicking a large crack into a bathroom door and threatening to mess up her room.

Edit: She does like chicken soup.

I get worried when I don't hear from her for a day anyway, as it often means her roommate is in the middle of screaming at her.

[bldavis]

im pretty sure that falls under psychotic as well....

[Nikachelle]

So let's say you are dating a coworker who went home sick early yesterday. She has a penchant for letting her phone die and her charger is here in the lab. You usually talk via text constantly, but haven't heard anything from her since last night and it's already after noon. Additionally, her roommate is psychotic and verbally abusive to her, and hates you. If you don't hear from her by late afternoon, is it considered stalkerish to show up at her apartment unannounced with chicken soup and flowers?

I'm curious why you would even consider that stalkerish. It sounds incredibly nice and thoughtful to me.

[Sabindeus]

oh god nika your avatar is giving me seizures

[Shoju]

More abusive than psychotic. She is constantly verbally abusive to her and hates it when she gives attention to anyone else. Such outbursts as when she didn't get her way and my girlfriend left the apartment to come see me resulted in kicking a large crack into a bathroom door and threatening to mess up her room.

Edit: She does like chicken soup.

I get worried when I don't hear from her for a day anyway, as it often means her roommate is in the middle of screaming at her.

This could be in poor form, and if it is, I apologize, but it sounds like the roommate thinks (or wants) there to be something more to the "roommates". I once had a situation like that, which is probably what made me think of it. Time for your coworker to find a new roommate me thinks.

[Nikachelle]

oh god nika your avatar is giving me seizures

Rainbow kitten owns your soul.

[firstamendme]

The flowers and soup went over well.

My wondering about if it was stalkerish stems from having just got out of a marriage, so I was used to being with a person every day. I didn't want to move too fast and do something too quickly. Additionally, due to why the marriage ended, there is always that little voice in my head that says if I'm not hearing from her it's because she's with another guy. Stupid, I know, and I can logically refute the 'little voice,' but it means that impartial anonymous opinions help me separate what I think might be crazy from what is actually normal behavior.

I think you are right, Shoju, and I've been trying to get her to find a new roommate, but as with many recipients of verbal/emotional abuse it's hard to break through the wall of 'It isn't that bad' that gets put up.

Thanks for the opinions! I went with soup, her favorite flavor tums, and her favorite flavor power aid. (and a flower, naturally).