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Re: Relationships

Postby bldavis » Sun Oct 14, 2012 2:30 pm

not to change the subject, but...

how do i tell my becoming devout again mormon parents that i am atheist and no longer want to go to church due to my beliefs, and no amount of hounding will help, but regardless of my own beliefs and feelings i am still very proud of my 2 sisters wanting to serve missions for their church?
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Brekkie:Tanks are like shitty DPS. And healers are like REALLY distracted DPS
Amirya:Why yes, your penis is longer than his because you hit 30k dps in the first 10 seconds. But guess what? That raid boss has a dick bigger than your ego.
Flex:I don't make mistakes. I execute carefully planned strategic group wipes.
Levie:(in /g) It's weird, I have a collar and I dont know where I got it from, Worgen are kinky!
Levie:Drunk Lev goes and does what he pleases just to annoy sober Lev.
Sagara:You see, you need to *spread* the bun before you insert the hot dog.
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Re: Relationships

Postby Levantine » Sun Oct 14, 2012 2:53 pm

Like that? I dunno, never had the situation where someone I care about is likely to tell me I'm going to hell for not believing what they believe/try to convert me.

Also lol at doing everything in my power to avoid seeing the boyfriend because ergh, relationship. Obviously not cut out to be in a legitimate relationship at the moment. Time to figure out how to let him down gently before I do something really slutty and break him into tiny angry little pieces.
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Re: Relationships

Postby Nooska » Fri Oct 19, 2012 11:27 am

@Levantine
point him to this forumpost?
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Re: Relationships

Postby Aubade » Fri Oct 19, 2012 5:28 pm

@BLDavis All you can do is be honest with your beliefs and hope that they respect you enough to respect that. Although I do know it's harder for Mormons to understand than most religions. I hope you don't get ex-communicated =[

@Levantine. I love you, so here's some tough love..

Just stay in the relationship and try to make it work. You can tell yourself you're terrible at relationships etc all you want, and you always will be if you don't get away from your fear of it and just do it. It's not going to be comfortable, it's not going to be perfect. But hell, just do it. You obviously have some sort of attraction to this guy, and he has some to you so just stay in it for now, and hope that he'll deal with your craziness and you will deal with his. After all, being in love isn't anything except being comfortable with the amount of insane that your partner has.'

Tl;Dr Man up and try to make it work. You'll never get better unless you try.
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Re: Relationships

Postby bldavis » Fri Oct 19, 2012 5:40 pm

Aubade wrote:@BLDavis All you can do is be honest with your beliefs and hope that they respect you enough to respect that. Although I do know it's harder for Mormons to understand than most religions. I hope you don't get ex-communicated =[

if i do, i do
hell maybe then they would stop trying to get me to go back

though it would just switch to getting me to repent of my sins and be baptized again :roll:
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Brekkie:Tanks are like shitty DPS. And healers are like REALLY distracted DPS
Amirya:Why yes, your penis is longer than his because you hit 30k dps in the first 10 seconds. But guess what? That raid boss has a dick bigger than your ego.
Flex:I don't make mistakes. I execute carefully planned strategic group wipes.
Levie:(in /g) It's weird, I have a collar and I dont know where I got it from, Worgen are kinky!
Levie:Drunk Lev goes and does what he pleases just to annoy sober Lev.
Sagara:You see, you need to *spread* the bun before you insert the hot dog.
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Re: Relationships

Postby Sabindeus » Mon Oct 22, 2012 2:27 pm

bldavis wrote:not to change the subject, but...

how do i tell my becoming devout again mormon parents that i am atheist and no longer want to go to church due to my beliefs, and no amount of hounding will help, but regardless of my own beliefs and feelings i am still very proud of my 2 sisters wanting to serve missions for their church?


Do you live with your parents?
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Re: Relationships

Postby bldavis » Mon Oct 22, 2012 2:49 pm

yes due to trouble finding work in this economy
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Brekkie:Tanks are like shitty DPS. And healers are like REALLY distracted DPS
Amirya:Why yes, your penis is longer than his because you hit 30k dps in the first 10 seconds. But guess what? That raid boss has a dick bigger than your ego.
Flex:I don't make mistakes. I execute carefully planned strategic group wipes.
Levie:(in /g) It's weird, I have a collar and I dont know where I got it from, Worgen are kinky!
Levie:Drunk Lev goes and does what he pleases just to annoy sober Lev.
Sagara:You see, you need to *spread* the bun before you insert the hot dog.
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Re: Relationships

Postby Skye1013 » Mon Oct 22, 2012 5:01 pm

Are they relying on whatever income you have as much as you're relying on them? I ask, because that would determine the likelihood of them trying to kick you out. Be sure to have a back up plan, just in case (assuming you haven't already talked to them.)
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Re: Relationships

Postby bldavis » Mon Oct 22, 2012 5:20 pm

i am fairly certain i am not in danger of getting kicked out due to religion
its just i want to not be pressured to go back to a church i dont believe in
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Brekkie:Tanks are like shitty DPS. And healers are like REALLY distracted DPS
Amirya:Why yes, your penis is longer than his because you hit 30k dps in the first 10 seconds. But guess what? That raid boss has a dick bigger than your ego.
Flex:I don't make mistakes. I execute carefully planned strategic group wipes.
Levie:(in /g) It's weird, I have a collar and I dont know where I got it from, Worgen are kinky!
Levie:Drunk Lev goes and does what he pleases just to annoy sober Lev.
Sagara:You see, you need to *spread* the bun before you insert the hot dog.
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Re: Relationships

Postby Skye1013 » Mon Oct 22, 2012 5:42 pm

Totally understandable, and I have a feeling I might need to have that discussion with my mom the next time I come home on leave. I usually just do the passive aggressive thing (refusing to get out of bed or staying at a friend's house Saturday night) to avoid it... but I'd imagine it might be easier if I just talked to her about it.

Of course... the last time (according to her) she was more upset that I didn't visit with the people at church than my lack of interest in the service. So maybe that discussion would be moot.
"me no gay, me friends gay, me no like you call me gay, you dumb dumb" -bldavis
"Here are the values that I stand for: I stand for honesty, equality, kindness, compassion, treating people the way you wanna be treated, and helping those in need. To me, those are traditional values. That’s what I stand for." -Ellen Degeneres
"I'm not going to censor myself to comfort your ignorance." -Jon Stewart
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Re: Relationships

Postby Aubade » Mon Oct 22, 2012 6:13 pm

Skye1013 wrote:Totally understandable, and I have a feeling I might need to have that discussion with my mom the next time I come home on leave. I usually just do the passive aggressive thing (refusing to get out of bed or staying at a friend's house Saturday night) to avoid it... but I'd imagine it might be easier if I just talked to her about it.

Of course... the last time (according to her) she was more upset that I didn't visit with the people at church than my lack of interest in the service. So maybe that discussion would be moot.


Yeah my mother does the same thing =[
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Re: Relationships

Postby Sabindeus » Mon Oct 22, 2012 9:41 pm

Wow, that sounds like it sucks for all of you guys. I was raised atheist so I have no idea what that's like.

@bldavis: If you don't think they're going to kick you out then just tell them the truth and don't go to any more churchthingies. If your parents continue to harass you, you could always prep yourself for an actual philosophical argument, but it's probably best to just let them get it out of their system without arguing. The sooner you can no longer be dependent on them, the better. Good luck in the job hunt.
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Re: Relationships

Postby bldavis » Mon Oct 22, 2012 11:21 pm

thanx, the joys of living in a small town
(if 17k ppl is small to you, it is to me after living in portland for 9 years)
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Brekkie:Tanks are like shitty DPS. And healers are like REALLY distracted DPS
Amirya:Why yes, your penis is longer than his because you hit 30k dps in the first 10 seconds. But guess what? That raid boss has a dick bigger than your ego.
Flex:I don't make mistakes. I execute carefully planned strategic group wipes.
Levie:(in /g) It's weird, I have a collar and I dont know where I got it from, Worgen are kinky!
Levie:Drunk Lev goes and does what he pleases just to annoy sober Lev.
Sagara:You see, you need to *spread* the bun before you insert the hot dog.
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Re: Relationships

Postby Aubade » Tue Oct 23, 2012 4:26 am

Yeah, religious people tend to get absorbed in the culture, and when you decide not to be involved with that culture any longer it's like saying "I know how much you love the place where you get your personal affirmation, where your friends are, where you think my friends are, where my entire life is being confirmed to you as good, but I don't want to be any part of that any longer" So I can understand why it's rough for my mother, possibly BLDavis' mother, to be apprehensive about just letting that slide. Luckily for me, after about 2 years of my mother not speaking to me because of my "Evil" lifestyle (WoW, Dating women that weren't christian, smoking, drinking) we re-connected and she realized that just because I left the church doesn't mean I turned into this evil person, I'm still the same person she raised.
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Re: Relationships

Postby Levantine » Tue Oct 23, 2012 5:55 am

Haha, Aubade's basically the devil.

On a related note, so am I. Yeesh, that was a nasty break up. By nasty I mean I came off as a total douche and broke his heart and I'm all like, you're a big boy, you'll get over it.
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Re: Relationships

Postby Nikachelle » Tue Oct 23, 2012 6:03 am

LEV! Why'd you do that?
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Re: Relationships

Postby Sagara » Tue Oct 23, 2012 6:05 am

Had the same thought. Last time, things sounded as good as you had could have them.
Simply couldn't handle the stress?
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Re: Relationships

Postby Levantine » Tue Oct 23, 2012 6:21 am

I just wasn't feeling it. He got reaaaaaal clingy despite knowing that I can't do clingy. The more someone tries to get clingy with me the more I push them away. Also the sex was horrible.

I don't know exactly when/how it happened, but somewhere in the last two weeks he completely soured the idea of being in a relationship with him and I was all like, not going to waste either of our time. I think he did understand that I wasn't what he was looking for and he wasn't what I was looking for.

I'm starting to realise that what I want out of a relationship is a mate (who I sleep with). I fucking hate lovey dovey romanticism. I just can't do it and it's not what I'm looking for. Like, if my best friend was a dude or I was into girls, I would have wifed that shit already.

TLDR dun like clingy
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Re: Relationships

Postby Barathorn » Tue Oct 23, 2012 7:37 am

/highfives Levantine.

Your honesty is very refreshing and will be rewarded I am sure.
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Re: Relationships

Postby Aubade » Tue Oct 23, 2012 7:19 pm

Levantine wrote:Haha, Aubade's basically the devil.

On a related note, so am I. Yeesh, that was a nasty break up. By nasty I mean I came off as a total douche and broke his heart and I'm all like, you're a big boy, you'll get over it.


Basically? haha
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Re: Relationships

Postby Brekkie » Tue Oct 23, 2012 8:07 pm

Levantine wrote:I just wasn't feeling it. He got reaaaaaal clingy despite knowing that I can't do clingy. The more someone tries to get clingy with me the more I push them away. Also the sex was horrible.

I don't know exactly when/how it happened, but somewhere in the last two weeks he completely soured the idea of being in a relationship with him and I was all like, not going to waste either of our time. I think he did understand that I wasn't what he was looking for and he wasn't what I was looking for.

I'm starting to realise that what I want out of a relationship is a mate (who I sleep with). I fucking hate lovey dovey romanticism. I just can't do it and it's not what I'm looking for. Like, if my best friend was a dude or I was into girls, I would have wifed that shit already.

TLDR dun like clingy



Serious Suggestion: Stop sleeping with them so quickly after first meeting them.

Not saying that to be judgemental, god knows I have no room to talk, but I honestly think it might help.
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Re: Relationships

Postby Levantine » Wed Oct 24, 2012 5:06 am

Brekkie wrote:Serious Suggestion: Stop sleeping with them so quickly after first meeting them.

Not saying that to be judgemental, god knows I have no room to talk, but I honestly think it might help.


This one was a current friend, so it wasn't quite that situation. Generally I'd agree with you and if I'm settling into a relationship with someone new I generally don't for a couple of weeks at least historically. If it's just a fling then whatever because flings are basically short lived sex adventures anyway.
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Re: Relationships

Postby Nikachelle » Wed Oct 24, 2012 6:36 am

Ehhhhh not sure I agree about the whole withholding sex until later thing. I don't think it's a magical key that will suddenly make a relationship last longer if you hold out longer.
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Re: Relationships

Postby Barathorn » Wed Oct 24, 2012 6:39 am

Nikachelle wrote:Ehhhhh not sure I agree about the whole withholding sex until later thing. I don't think it's a magical key that will suddenly make a relationship last longer if you hold out longer.


Do like Axis of Awesome and ask yourself 'What would Jesus Do'?
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Re: Relationships

Postby Sagara » Wed Oct 24, 2012 7:34 am

Barathorn wrote:
Nikachelle wrote:Ehhhhh not sure I agree about the whole withholding sex until later thing. I don't think it's a magical key that will suddenly make a relationship last longer if you hold out longer.


Do like Axis of Awesome and ask yourself 'What would Jesus Do'?


Depends on the edition.

And I feel Lev did the right choice, and shouldn't change much about her approach.

It's clear you're getting more at ease with yourself, if not with others. Relationships aren't a necessity for a fulfilling life, unless you want it to. Better to find one's own balance.
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