Relationships

[lythac]

Papers filed. I had her move out, and she immediately went to this guy's place to stay and started sending him romantic e-cards about cuddling in his bed. Man did I ever make the right call.

Sounds like you did the right thing! Good on you for being strong.

could you blame her if you had her move out? Not sure what the main problem was but feels like might had been your fault too

The main problem was -

Trying to decide what to do when your wife of about 5 years messes around behind your back, lies to your face about it, then continues to see him (but not necessarily do anything provable) 4 more times and deny it each time is fun

So I'm going to go with not his fault. As for blaming her on moving in straight away with the guy she cheated with I don't think anyone is. It just confirmed that the divorce and asking her to move out was the right thing to do.

If the woman had decency she would move in with a friend.

[firstamendme]

Also, I am a graduate student in university housing. I could not have been the one to move out as she is ineligible to have that housing otherwise.

Furthermore, after she moved in with that guy she told me she still wanted to make us work. There were other housing options, albeit difficult ones, but it would appear her choice was clear.

edit: Also, I never stated that the deterioration of the relationship was entirely her fault. I was not fulfilling her emotional needs in addition to other issues we both were having. However, her course of action was not to tell me and work through it, but instead to just find it from someone else, vehemently deny it even after irrefutable proof was obtained, and repeat the action again and again after swearing up and down it would stop. The problems were not her fault alone, but I can say the ending of it was.

[Fridmarr]

Papers filed. I had her move out, and she immediately went to this guy's place to stay and started sending him romantic e-cards about cuddling in his bed. Man did I ever make the right call.

Sounds like you did the right thing! Good on you for being strong.

could you blame her if you had her move out? Not sure what the main problem was but feels like might had been your fault too

That's an "interesting" first post on our site...

[bldavis]

i was thinking that too >.>

[Sagara]

i was thinking that too >.>

<- Guilty of the same as charged.

[bldavis]

i was thinking that too >.>

<- Guilty of the same as charged.

guilty of thinking it or guilty of making the post

[Sagara]

Of noting the situation. Didn't comment on it, but it did give a strange vibe.

[Amirya]

I had to do a double take at the post count (which is actually just 1 due to a double post), and then wonder who the fuck is stupid enough to make that sort of comment while simultaneously admitting to not knowing anything about the situation in question and still placing blame.

"I don't really know what's going on, but dude, it's your fault too!"

I mean, seriously? If someone is that incapable of reading back a few pages, then either ask for clarification, or just shut the hell up.

[Levantine]

Or it's actually her. Silly Ami.

[Amirya]

That's true, I was just hoping for a stupid person and not a stupid female to make me angry for being a female.

I hate females who make the rest of us look stupid and needy and emotionally stunted (if you have to be any of those, just make yourself look that like, ffs)

[bldavis]

not to change the subject, but...

how do i tell my becoming devout again mormon parents that i am atheist and no longer want to go to church due to my beliefs, and no amount of hounding will help, but regardless of my own beliefs and feelings i am still very proud of my 2 sisters wanting to serve missions for their church?

[Levantine]

Like that? I dunno, never had the situation where someone I care about is likely to tell me I'm going to hell for not believing what they believe/try to convert me.

Also lol at doing everything in my power to avoid seeing the boyfriend because ergh, relationship. Obviously not cut out to be in a legitimate relationship at the moment. Time to figure out how to let him down gently before I do something really slutty and break him into tiny angry little pieces.

[Nooska]

@Levantine
point him to this forumpost?

[Aubade]

@BLDavis All you can do is be honest with your beliefs and hope that they respect you enough to respect that. Although I do know it's harder for Mormons to understand than most religions. I hope you don't get ex-communicated =[

@Levantine. I love you, so here's some tough love..

Just stay in the relationship and try to make it work. You can tell yourself you're terrible at relationships etc all you want, and you always will be if you don't get away from your fear of it and just do it. It's not going to be comfortable, it's not going to be perfect. But hell, just do it. You obviously have some sort of attraction to this guy, and he has some to you so just stay in it for now, and hope that he'll deal with your craziness and you will deal with his. After all, being in love isn't anything except being comfortable with the amount of insane that your partner has.'

Tl;Dr Man up and try to make it work. You'll never get better unless you try.

[bldavis]

@BLDavis All you can do is be honest with your beliefs and hope that they respect you enough to respect that. Although I do know it's harder for Mormons to understand than most religions. I hope you don't get ex-communicated =[

if i do, i do
hell maybe then they would stop trying to get me to go back

though it would just switch to getting me to repent of my sins and be baptized again