Tank Bot - Fun with PuGs

[Dazhbog]

http://us.battle.net/wow/en/forum/topic/1764410003

NOTE: ALL credit to this wonderfull post goes to the OP in this topic on gamefaqs. http://www.gamefaqs.com/boards/534914-w ... t/57681477



Of course this assumes you can tank competently and know what you're doing, since it makes it more believable

(Instance name) *HEROIC* DATA LOADED

Keep repeating the below until they say Y instead of "yes" or "yeah" or anything else, cracks me up every time
HEALER READY? Y/N TO PROCEED

ACKNOWLEDGED - PROCEEDING

Reach a boss, of course keep asking if they're ready until they respond with Y or y:
LOADING (Boss name) SCRIPT NOW - PLEASE WAIT
PROCESSING
PROCESSING
PROCESSING
COMPLETE - HEALER READY? Y/N TO PROCEED

Get a baddie? Below generally gets someone to initiate a votekick so you don't have to, if they say yes keep posting it after every pull
PARTY MEMBER (Name) BELOW EXPECTED DPS PARAMETERS - PROCEED WITH INSTANCE REGARDLESS? Y/N TO CONTINUE

NOTICE - PARTY MEMBER (Name) HAS BROKEN CC # TIME(S) Continue to keep tally

Dps ninjas your tanking gear?
UNAUTHORIZED ROLL DETECTED - DISENGAGING PROGRAM NOW
Zone out, watch nerd rage

Get a terrible group that doesn't seem salvageable? Hilariously people will wait while you count up EVERY time
ERROR DETECTED, RESTARTING PROGRAM NOW, zone out
RELOADING (Instance name) *HEROIC* DATA
2%
7%
16%
24%
31%
35%
39%
44%
52%
56%
59%
66%
71%
77%
82%
85%
89%
91%
94%
97%
99%
FATAL ERROR - MANUAL RESTART REQUIRED

Do dailies until you get booted or until they get fed up waiting to see if you come back or not, they usually wait five minutes

As a bot runs have been WAY smoother, although I guess you might get some simpleton reporting you because they actually think you're a bot, but I doubt Blizzard would be stupid enough to punish anyone based on a log that contained idiocy like this

*goes to make some new macros*

[PsiVen]

I love this so much. But we must be careful not to abuse our robotic power, and make good groups wait around.

How do you mark CC with this?

[Koatanga]

People who have to queue for 45 minutes just aren't in the mood for comedy, I find, particularly when the result is a tankless instance.

[PsiVen]

Right, intentionally wiping/leaving a good group isn't cool. But it's still fun to mess with people, especially if the healer is in on it and can keep you from wiping. If someone has so little sense as to votekick a competent tank because they're apparently a robot, they deserve their tankless instance.

I've done a few pilot runs, since I don't need my daily today:

Run #1 - Throne of the Tides, with a guild healer. Despite assigned CC, DPS fails utterly at interrupting and CCing, and it takes 5 minutes for them to kill the healers. Tankbot is blamed and votekicked.

Run #2 - Stonecore wipefest. Instance was in progress on Ozruk, clearly not with the original members. None of these guys were in the mood for comedy, and they had no reaction whatsoever. I tanked competently but they were too fail, after a couple wipes everyone left.

Run #3 - Halls of Origination, with 3 guild DPS. We cleared the instance without issue. First healer declared that he "didn't sign on for this RP shit" and left at the first boss; the new healer played along for the most part. I'm pretty sure he thought we were just lunatics.

Conclusion - I believe a single guildmate/accomplice is ideal to play along enough to convince people without it being obvious that you're fucking with them. Ideally this should be the healer so that you're pretty much guaranteed to never wipe in a way that implicates Tankbot.

[Dantriges]

Inserted some "Loading Cc data for mobs. Done. Proceed with marking", macro?

[Amirya]

My boyfriend and I have our own version of fun with pugs.

We do the "bickering couple" routine. So far, we have 2 dogs (one of whom he hates), and I routinely throw various types of shoes at his head for stupidity. When he was healing BRC (and I was on my hunter), I threw a high heel at him for dying on the first boss. And dying on trash just after Beauty.

Of course, I told the boomkin who butt pulled TWO groups that I had a microwave with their name on it.

It usually entertains the pugs, at the least.

[Talima]

Here's a video that was posted in the gamespot topic of someone doing this in Grim Batol.

[Nakama]

Here's a video that was posted in the gamespot topic of someone doing this in Grim Batol.

That was truly awesome. I'd be laughing so hard at the end I'd probably smack some keys on accident.

--Jed

[Jonlo]

http://us.battle.net/wow/en/forum/topic/1764410003

Here's the sister thread on the WoW tank forums. If someone can get an addon up and running for this, every tank would be eternally grateful.

[Rachmaninoff]

omg.... this is incredible... I'm going to make macros when I get home...

My boyfriend and I have our own version of fun with pugs.

We do the "bickering couple" routine. So far, we have 2 dogs (one of whom he hates), and I routinely throw various types of shoes at his head for stupidity. When he was healing BRC (and I was on my hunter), I threw a high heel at him for dying on the first boss. And dying on trash just after Beauty.

Of course, I told the boomkin who butt pulled TWO groups that I had a microwave with their name on it.

It usually entertains the pugs, at the least.

I like that, especially the microwave...

I had a healer the other day that was "being tickled by her husband" and almost caused a wipe several times... I think she was making excuses

I like to run instances with my brother who is a shammy healer... we've had some fun messing with people especially reasons for kicking people. we had a mage pulling 4-5k dps and gave a reason of doesn't play well with others.

he also told me about a tank who was trying to be kicked from a guild group. none of the guildies were able to kick the tank because of some reason. So the tank was able to trick them. For the kick of the first guildie he used his name. The others didn't look at who but rather the reason. The reason was the tanks name, since they were tying to kick him they hit accept.

I forgot how they managed to kick two more before the third left but again he managed to fool them into looking at the reason and not the name of the person being kicked.

[Kelaan]

we've had some fun messing with people especially reasons for kicking people. we had a mage pulling 4-5k dps and gave a reason of doesn't play well with others.

We were once in a group with 4 guildies and an un-excellent PuG. (Not terrible, just not very good.) Awesome mage logs in, and is like, "Well, hell, kick him and invite me!" We laugh in vent, and are like, "no, we shouldn't." I decide I won't initiate the kick ... but someone else apparently did.

A kick dialog pops up, and the reason is "Not ${MAGENAME}". Apparently we all clicked yes. The mage was surprised. "I was kidding!" he said, but he accepted once we pointed out that it was too late anyways. I still regret it, because some guy got screwed by our desire to have an awesome replacement. I wish I'd had the presence of mind to apologize to the PuG member, because it really was a dick move on our part. (I've nearly never voted to kick people, so if it was you ... I'm sorry.)

[Amirya]

You quoted me as Rachmaninoff.

[Rachmaninoff]

yea I'm not threatening to throw a microwave

I wish I'd had the presence of mind to apologize to the PuG member, because it really was a dick move on our part. (I've nearly never voted to kick people, so if it was you ... I'm sorry.)

I don't mind it. I've gotten kicked once. I thought it was funny cause I wasn't taking crap. When we kicked our mage we asked him to step it up, he actually did worse.

[Njall]

:( You quoted me as Rachmaninoff.

Cruel and unusual punishment, that.

[Amirya]

yea I'm not threatening to throw a microwave

NOT YET