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Why tanks make lousy boyfriends...

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Why tanks make lousy boyfriends...

Postby Sapphires » Tue Aug 19, 2008 11:58 am

Found on Frostmane forums...
Originally posted by someone else......Deathscore I think

The original topic was "Why tanks make lousy boyfriends....."

I found this on wowmb.net.

I only date tanks. It's just a personal preference of mine--some people like blondes, some people like great legs or butts, I just like tanks.

My first boyfriend was a warrior. He was a great guy, and he knew all the tricks. No matter what I was in the mood for, he could deliver. But after a while I called it off, because he just...well, didn't have the brains. I like a guy with a little intelligence, you know?

After a while I met this druid. Wow, was he ever something! He had strength, agility, and endurance to make other tanks weep. My friends were all so jealous when we started dating. He had a sensitive side, too--he wasn't always such an animal. He had a serious body hair problem, though, and refused to do a thing about it. Yuck! "This is how I am, baby. Take me or leave me," he said. So I left.

My next boyfriend was a paladin. He was a real sweetheart, and I never had to pester him about using protection. He could do amazing things with his hands. Talk about seeing the light! I thought I'd finally found a keeper...until the day he told me he was into that group stuff. He asked me to invite all my friends over, so we could all pile on top of him. He promised me he could handle all of us; I told him he'd better be able to handle the door slamming in his face, because that's what he was getting.

So then I met this mage. He swore up and down that he was a tank, even though he really didn't look like one. I took him at his word, and we went on a few dates. Well, it turns out he's only a tank one night a week, and he has to wear a ton of "special gear" to do it. I told him sorry, but that's just not my scene. I need a full-time tank in my life, and I don't want to have to strap him into anything first. Even if he does have "magic fingers."

And the warlock...oh, that handsome devil. And talk about stamina! But he was just like the mage, except he wanted his creepy little friend to watch, too! I was out that door so fast I nearly swung it off the hinges.
After that, I pretty much swore off men for a while. But now a new guy has asked me out, and I think I'm ready to jump in the dating game again. He's called a "death knight," and he tells me he's a tank, or at least he will be in a couple of months. I'm a little wary after my experiences with the others, but we'll see how it goes. Wish me luck!
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Postby agamemnoch » Tue Aug 19, 2008 12:03 pm

Don't do it. He'll give you a disease and leave you out in the cold.
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Postby Aertho » Tue Aug 19, 2008 12:08 pm

ba dum DUM.

Here all week folks. Try the veal.
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Postby PsiVen » Tue Aug 19, 2008 12:25 pm

lmao.

Asylum that way though ---------->
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Postby Kelaan » Tue Aug 19, 2008 12:28 pm

Agamemnoch wrote:Don't do it. He'll give you a disease and leave you out in the cold.

Win. :D

... at least she didn't mention pet tanks. ;)

$Asylum->Gutter->Go();
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Postby moduspwnens » Tue Aug 19, 2008 1:03 pm

Kelaan wrote:... at least he (the very lonely, creepy guy that roleplays as a girl) didn't mention pet tanks. ;);


Fixed.
I rule.
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Postby Worldie » Tue Aug 19, 2008 1:04 pm

Moving it to asylum, but still rofl
theckhd wrote:Fuck no, we've seen what you do to guilds. Just imagine what you could do to an entire country. Just visiting the US might be enough to make the southern states try to secede again.

halabar wrote:Noo.. you don't realize the problem. Worldie was to negative guild breaking energy like Bolvar is to the Scourge. If Worldie is removed, than someone must pick up that mantle, otherwise that negative guild breaking energy will run rampant, destroying all the servers.
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Postby Sapphires » Tue Aug 19, 2008 1:18 pm

it was related to WoTLK... =D
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Postby caboom » Tue Aug 19, 2008 1:34 pm

Agamemnoch wrote:Don't do it. He'll give you a disease and leave you out in the cold.


hahaha
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Postby Macha » Tue Aug 19, 2008 1:36 pm

moduspwnens wrote:
Kelaan wrote:... at least he (the very lonely, creepy guy that roleplays as a girl) didn't mention pet tanks. ;);


Fixed.


Only really, really stupid people think that MMORPGs have few female players and that thus people who say they are female HAVE TO BE MALES OMGLOLOL.
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Postby Spiggless » Tue Aug 19, 2008 1:50 pm

caboom wrote:
Agamemnoch wrote:Don't do it. He'll give you a disease and leave you out in the cold.


hahaha
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Postby Spectrum » Tue Aug 19, 2008 1:58 pm

Macha wrote:
moduspwnens wrote:
Kelaan wrote:... at least he (the very lonely, creepy guy that roleplays as a girl) didn't mention pet tanks. ;);


Fixed.


Only really, really stupid people think that MMORPGs have few female players and that thus people who say they are female HAVE TO BE MALES OMGLOLOL.


I think it stems from the stereotypes that most people in these games had growing up. When I was a kid the guys played a lot of video games and the girls rarely participated. With the rise of the internet I think everyone is taking part now. That and this isn't a battlefield sim.

Anyway, I like the paladin style: sensitive and inviting, if you know what I mean. :)
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Postby argentevenin » Tue Aug 19, 2008 2:06 pm

lol nice :D
wtb more fun stuff on kilrogg realm forums!!
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R.I.P the firm :<
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Postby Argali » Tue Aug 19, 2008 2:43 pm

kilrogg is boooooring.
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Postby Kelaan » Tue Aug 19, 2008 3:20 pm

Spectrum wrote:Anyway, I like the paladin style: sensitive and inviting, if you know what I mean. :)


Well, yeah -- and, we can still have great single-target TPS, as well as great burst threat.

Not to mention, massive LOH. {Oh, crap, I thought I'd forgotten than meme.}
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