Those Know-It-All Mages

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Those Know-It-All Mages

Postby Kasavier » Mon Jul 14, 2008 7:36 am

I wrote up a post for my guild forums giving a brief analysis and comparison of tanking among warriors, druids and paladins after a vent discussion inspired me to lay out some of the mechanics for paladin tanking. A few responses were made either elaborating my points or asking questions, until my favorite mage, Redtrieste, posted this gem. It made me laugh, so I thought I'd share.

Leave it to Kasavier for leaving out mages as tanks in her guide. Does she forget the first boss of Mana Tombs so quickly? I'll fill in the gaps.

1st advantage that mages have over other tank classes is we really don't need to waste gear to improve our effectiveness as tanks. For god sakes, we wear cloth. This means that we can basically wear whatever looks the best. I'd think this alone would make Kas convert to a mage tank, but I guess she really does like the items she wears.

But our lack of armor, stamina, parry, dodge, duck, cover, and hide ratings (I'm sure there are other tank ratings) makes it easy for us to concentrate on our biggest ability - running away. Unfortunately, unlike palllies us mages have not been active in complaining about our lack of running speed in the forums, so blizzard hasn't buffed us. Thus eventually the boss will be getting close to you. At this point, one of two things needs to happen.

Most likely, you'll be forced to blink. This will buy you a few more seconds and you'll be back in the same boat. Hopefully by now the healers will know they have an uber tank, and will be concentrating on getting off heals at the exact same time as you take damage. If the healers are doing there job, then it'll be like nothing hit you. Its much safer to ice block at this time.

Congratulations. You are now 20 seconds into the fight! But this is the easy part, the rest will require more leet skills and a few macros.

Problem is, blizzard nerfed ice block so even spec'd right, you have to live 30 more seconds before you can do it again. On the plus side, the fact that you're not wasting time building aggro like other tanks means that the boss will likely wander around engaging other people. When you come out of ice block, start running again. With a little practice, and luck with the boss running far away from you, you can make it to the 30 second mark losing only 6-8 raid members. To be honest, if they can't watch omen and stay under your threat, they're most likely mage non-tanks having to concentrate hard on pushing one button.

So you're coming out of your second ice block. In about 20 seconds, you'll be dead if they can't finish off the boss. Unfortunately, most raids will have slackers doing the dps, and will require more than 60 seconds to kill the boss. Thus, you'll need an offtank until your cooldown comes back. 6.4 minutes.

You may feel that using off tanks is demeaning for mage tanks. Don't worry, even other classes needs off tanks. At times in vent, all i can hear are our tanks screaming like little girls saying "Get him off me, get him off me"! Rather than join them, I'd suggest using a macro: /rw HELP HELP HELP HELP. This serves three purposes, first - the off tank will know its his turn, second - no one will hear your high pitched screaming in vent, and third - if the raid wipes you can always say "Well I asked for help".

Finally, learning mage tanking takes time, and its very important that the raid does not get discouraged on your 40th or 50th attempt at the first boss. Its important to remember who's fault it is. First is the healers, then the off tank, then the slacker dps.
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Postby Worldie » Mon Jul 14, 2008 7:43 am

+respect :D
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Postby Kyrael » Mon Jul 14, 2008 7:54 am

I chuckled my way through that.

My colleagues at work now think I'm slightly insane. (they might be right...)
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Postby Nymeros » Mon Jul 14, 2008 9:01 am

Thanks for the laugh. That Mage deserves some props. :D
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Postby Joanadark » Mon Jul 14, 2008 9:12 am

Unfortunately, unlike palllies us mages have not been active in complaining about our lack of running speed in the forums, so blizzard hasn't buffed us.


I laughed really hard at this.
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Postby Ashmadai » Mon Jul 14, 2008 9:13 am

Haha, good stuff there.
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Re: Those Know-It-All Mages

Postby Amirya » Mon Jul 14, 2008 10:22 am

Kasavier wrote:
You may feel that using off tanks is demeaning for mage tanks. Don't worry, even other classes needs off tanks. At times in vent, all i can hear are our tanks screaming like little girls saying "Get him off me, get him off me"! Rather than join them, I'd suggest using a macro: /rw HELP HELP HELP HELP. This serves three purposes, first - the off tank will know its his turn, second - no one will hear your high pitched screaming in vent, and third - if the raid wipes you can always say "Well I asked for help".


One of my officers is dreading having to mage tank in Gruul's.

I'm going to show this to him.

And tell him to make that macro.

*ponders what happens if I do that during a Prince fight*
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Postby Voxe » Fri Jul 25, 2008 8:15 am

very good post.

But I am a bit afraid there will be some 'tards that see this post as serious and start trying to tank.
I pity the raid/guildmembers.
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Postby Targonis » Fri Jul 25, 2008 9:44 am

Voxe wrote:very good post.

But I am a bit afraid there will be some 'tards that see this post as serious and start trying to tank.
I pity the raid/guildmembers.


Haha those tards are everywhere... it will happen and I will cackle from my cloud city.

Loved the post, my other 70 is a Mage, and it's pretty damn accurate!
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Postby Kasavier » Fri Jul 25, 2008 12:21 pm

Amirya wrote:
Kasavier wrote:
Funny Stuff


One of my officers is dreading having to mage tank in Gruul's.

I'm going to show this to him.

And tell him to make that macro.

*ponders what happens if I do that during a Prince fight*

Heh, the amusing thing was this was written just after he magetanked that guy in Gruul's for the first time when we went back in just for kicks. His opinion on tanking psychology changed drastically after that. Before, it was "okay, tanks are a bit weird, but I like to hide behind them so it's all cool" and now it's more like "OMFG YOU GUYS ACTUALLY *WANT* TO STAND THERE AND GET HIT? YOU BUNCH OF FREAKS. THERE IS SOMETHING WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE. YOU'RE ALL SICK! SICK!"

Voxe wrote:very good post.

But I am a bit afraid there will be some 'tards that see this post as serious and start trying to tank.
I pity the raid/guildmembers.

I've a hard time believing that anyone can read that and completely not see the humor there enough to take it seriously. :P
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Postby Targonis » Fri Jul 25, 2008 2:28 pm

Kasavier wrote:I've a hard time believing that anyone can read that and completely not see the humor there enough to take it seriously. :P


Don't play with many Hunters do ya? :lol:
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Postby Kasavier » Fri Jul 25, 2008 5:49 pm

Targonis wrote:
Kasavier wrote:I've a hard time believing that anyone can read that and completely not see the humor there enough to take it seriously. :P


Don't play with many Hunters do ya? :lol:


I try to maintain a positive, unbiased attitude by assuming the best about people.


You can stop laughing now.


Seriously.
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