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[US-Alterac Mountains|H|10M] 8/8 SWARM is recruiting a Tank

PostPosted: Thu Aug 23, 2012 9:03 am
by Bellanka
SWARM is currently recruiting for an experienced Tankadin to join our team of ne'er-do-wells and goofballs.

We raid Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday (and the first six raiding Mondays of any new tier/expansion) from 9PM to Midnight Eastern. (6PM to 9PM Pacific.)

We ended the last tier in the top 350US, and are looking to find quality adult players to fill our ranks for the push to the top 100.

What we expect from you:

-You're looking for both a team and a home, not just a guild. We recruit new teammates by personality foremost. If you're an amazing player but lack any kind of social skills or emotional maturity you won't fit in with us.

-You are be able to commit to putting in 100% both during raid time and outside of raid time. As well, you should be able to do this WITHOUT sacrificing your real life commitments. We would rather lose half our team to new careers, furthering their education or starting a family than burnout. If you cannot balance your commitments this is not the team for you.

-You are a TEAM player. I don't care if you hate my guts and hope a rabid weasel eats its way through my esophagus and out my urethra, but you are capable of respecting the fact that we are on the same team with the same goals and all personality differences will be put aside for the sake of the team. (It's okay though, most people love me. I'm delightful.)

-You are experienced with your class/spec and offspecs and have a passion for playing it. We're not interested in your alt. We want you bringing to the table a character that you love and enjoy, and have enjoyed, for a long time.

-You are over the age of 21. You should be capable of paying for your own account and not having someone else dictate your bedtime or your ability to keep your subscription active. Being of legal drinking age is also a requirement to ensure that you'll be welcome and able to have fun at our annual Drunkfest in Las Vegas. (DF2013 is going to be the 10 year anniversary, and we usually have a suite on the strip with 40+ in attendance.)

-You have above average intelligence. If you lack the mental faculties to use DBM timers to predict damage/phase shifts, understand your talents and abilities with a depth and specialization that allows you to tailor your class's unique skill sets to our team needs, or just plain don't understand how to setup your SCT to tell when you're taking damage or receiving heals then you're not the right person for this team. We pride ourselves on doing more in less time, as should you.

-You are not a guild hopper. We WILL verify your guild history and talk to people in your past guilds. We're recruiting quality players who want to raid competitively, not loot-hungry guild-hoppers. If you've been in multiple guilds over the past few years we WILL ask you about it and you should have a very good, verifiable reason for it.

About Us:

-We are part of the Immortal Gaming Network, which means that in joining Swarm you also join Immortal, and have access to their guilds/groups across all MMOs (Everquest, EVE, OGame, League of Legends, Guild Wars 2, The Secret World, SWTOR, etc...) as well as the annual Drunkfest gathering in Las Vegas every summer.

-We put on our "serious face*" for progression, but we are, in reality, a bunch of goofballs. We're all tight knit, insult the hell out of each other (lovingly, of course, but you should have a thick skin), and all have a very warped sense of humor.

-We're friends first, teammates second, and guildies last.

-Cato is a pervert. If you're a girl he might ask you for nudes. I'll send you some of his girlfriend's to send back to him to screw with his head.
-Fim is ghetto. (She'll tell you she's ghetto fabulous, but she's lying.)
-Bene is very likely a robot, and he may or may not be Skynet becoming sentient.
-Lawl is also probably a robot, and may or may not be Bene 'spawning' further programs.
-Smight raids shirtless so he can do a double chest-slap and scream COME AT ME BRO while destroying meters.
-Sky is pretty sure he's the bastard son of Bruce Lee or Chuck Norris. We're still waiting for Maury to call him back about finding out.
-Dawgy claims to be male, but after his overemotional reaction to Boomkin changes on beta we've contracted an independent scientist we found in the discreet encounters section of Craigslist to verify this for us.
-Badger talks a lot. If you ask him about his French Horn his voice gets really high, cracks, and dogs for miles around start barking hysterically.
-Milz shot himself in the knee with a nailgun last week while on the job. We've had to cork his dinnerware and make him wear a helmet everywhere. Also, "... to the knee" jokes are back in fashion with SWARM as a result.
-Bahzi once ate one of those ten pound hamburgers on a dare. He hasn't gone to the bathroom since. That's pretty much all you need to know about Bahzi.
-Trax is our token Asian.
-Bell (that's me, and I'm awesome) sobs softly into vent every time someone stands in a fire. If you do it repeatedly I'll put one of my Cure cassettes on and cut mys... yes, I said cassette. I'm not old. Shut up. >:[

If you think you'll be a good fit for our team and want to push hard core progression with a bunch of giggling drunkards, you can apply at: Http://

You can also talk to Fim or I directly via RealID if you have any questions.


* All Serious Faces are provided by the guild bank and are from only the freshest free range Asian businessmen.

Re: [US-Alterac Mountains|H|10M] 8/8 SWARM is recruiting a T

PostPosted: Thu Aug 23, 2012 9:29 am
by Takagi
I approve this message. I've been here since November 8th 2011, and I really enjoy the raiding environment. (Dawgy)

Re: [US-Alterac Mountains|H|10M] 8/8 SWARM is recruiting a T

PostPosted: Thu Aug 23, 2012 3:53 pm
by badgersmashr
i have also been referred to as Chris Farley on crack.

Re: [US-Alterac Mountains|H|10M] 8/8 SWARM is recruiting a T

PostPosted: Fri Aug 24, 2012 7:25 am
by Bellanka
Takagi wrote:I approve this message. I've been here since November 8th 2011, and I really enjoy the raiding environment. (Dawgy)

So, hey, we've got a Doctor coming out to run some tests. Found him on Craigslist. Seems legit.

Re: [US-Alterac Mountains|H|10M] 8/8 SWARM is recruiting a T

PostPosted: Sat Aug 25, 2012 10:37 am
by Takagi
As long as he has a stuffed bear named Dr. Bearington as his assistant then he seems legit.

Re: [US-Alterac Mountains|H|10M] 8/8 SWARM is recruiting a T

PostPosted: Tue Sep 04, 2012 8:07 am
by Bellanka
Still looking for a dedicated, talented tank.

A healthy sense of humor is required, good healthy breeding hips are preferred.