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Hearth and home when your home has no heart.

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Hearth and home when your home has no heart.

Postby Solare » Thu Aug 12, 2010 1:13 pm

"Guard your roving thoughts with a jealous care, for speech is but the dialer of thoughts, and every fool can plainly read in your words what is the hour of your thoughts."
-Alfred Lord Tennyson

I wish to leave my guild, but I am conflicted. For quite a long time (years, actually) I have been very disappointed in my guild's leadership. They don't lead, they don't involve themselves, they don't even play very often (or very well.) They're just there to make full use of their piggy-bank and remind us how we're not a raiding guild.

And we're not, to be fair. And that is perhaps my fault, save for I joined before I even knew I wanted to raid. But time changes everything, and I don't want to say I've outgrown them; but I wish for something more.

I want to be in a place where my contributions have meaning. Where I can excel in what I love doing most. But there are complications. My fiance' (with whom I've been living with for the past year) is in the same guild. And she has far too many friends and far too many roots to up and leave. And I wouldn't ask her to, but I know she would anyway. And there's the rest of the guild to consider. I don't want my actions to sunder it; Rooks is the oldest remaining active guild on Twisting Nether. And if I'm not careful about how I do this, my actions could leave lingering damage to a group of people I still care about.

So that's where I am. Unfulfilled personal ambitions versus loyalty and consideration. I'm at my wits-end about how to deal with it. My first idea was to inter-server transfer to the top progression guild. But they have decided to move themselves to another server. Which is saying a lot, considering that not many months before, the former top guild did the same thing. I was disappointed. No other raiding guild on Twisting Nether had the same level of commitment to both progression and honorable / non-douche behavior.

So that leaves me with the option of just enduring my position, such as it is. Perhaps taking a hiatus until Cataclysm to see if either my guild has changed, or if perhaps a promising new guild is formed. But I do not want to join any guild; I want a new home. A stable, functional home.

Hell, up until 6 months ago, I had been raiding with the same 9 people since we got our Zul'Aman warbears. But now they're all gone. Left the game (some temporary, some permanent, some temporary that will probably be permanent) or left the server. Perhaps that's just a part of WoW I've never had to experience before, and I've just been mourning the loss of my team all this time. Still, without them, I have no reason to stay save for what I mentioned.

I write this, to you, my fellow maintankadins, in the sincere hope for advice. I do not want to write on my own forums to minimize potential drama, as that is not my aim. I would just like to hear an outside opinion, an unbiased recommendation of what you might do in my situation.

Thank you for your time.
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Re: Hearth and home when your home has no heart.

Postby theckhd » Fri Aug 13, 2010 7:19 am

Your guild survived the loss of your 9 companions, so it stands to reason that they can survive the loss of you. Especially since they are "not a raiding guild" as you described.

Talk with your fiancee about it - make it clear that you don't want her to feel compelled to follow you, and that she should stay with her friends. You can even encourage this by rolling and/or leveling an alt to keep in your current guild for social reasons. Play the raiding game somewhere that you enjoy it, and play the social game with your friends.

I speak from experience when I say that if you stay where you are and suffer through it, you'll be frustrated and miserable. The only thing that's kept me from quitting over the past month is the knowledge that in my case, the situation is temporary and will soon be over. My plan for Cataclysm is the same - raid with a more serious group of players on Theck, and keep all of my social connections with frequently-played alts.
"Theck, Bringer of Numbers and Pounding Headaches," courtesy of Grehn|Skipjack.
MATLAB 5.x, Simcraft 6.x, Call to Arms 6.0, Talent Spec & Glyph Guide 5.x, Blog: Sacred Duty
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Re: Hearth and home when your home has no heart.

Postby Solare » Fri Aug 13, 2010 9:45 am

You're probably right, Theck. I only wish there was a raiding guild left on the server (that wasn't horde, mind you) that was both looking for tanks and committed to high levels of personal conduct. I'm not thin-skinned by any measure, but I don't want to join a guild that is populated by 12 year-old Xbox live trash talkers, or their mental equivalents. And maintaining any semblance of commitment on multiple servers is difficult. On that note, perhaps I really should consider a faction change.

Thanks Theck, I'm not quite at a conclusion yet, but now I have more to think about.
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Re: Hearth and home when your home has no heart.

Postby goose » Tue Aug 17, 2010 1:01 pm

There is another option available one I myself took. Start your own raiding guild you can recruit the type of raiders you want and structure the guild the way you want it. There are lots of players on every server that wants the same type of raiding experience you do. If you cant find what you are looking for in a guild currently raiding then start your own. My guild raids the way we want to all of our attitudes and goals are the same as far as progression and gameplay and ever since I did that I have enjoyed the game much more than I had ever. Good luck in whatever you decide, Just remember WOW is a game and is meant to be enjoyed not stressed over.
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