Palading Tanking = Dating...?

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Palading Tanking = Dating...?

Postby thewarphrog » Wed Apr 16, 2008 8:48 am

I assure you, this is solely from the combination of being tired, really weird, and bored at work. It makes sense in my head...

Had an apifany(sp?) last night about how dating is so similar to Paladin tanking. I didn't describe it all very well, cuz its too early for my brain to work, but oh well. Flame on =P


When pulling a mob(1), you want to pull it with as much up front threat as possible, usually through use of Avengers Shield(2). You will then run back a small distance to pull them where you need them, waiting for them to follow. Most are melee, meaning they will definately go wherever you need them. But some are ranged casters, in which you have a lot more trouble, and your only hope is to 'Line of Site' them(3). Soon as you get the mob where you want, you drop down Consecrate(4), and must keep them in it most the entire time. It costs a lot of mana(5), but if you don't use it, you just might lose the aggro. However, you must be careful, for you do not want to have any CCed mobs(6) get caught in the Consecrate also, for it will break, and you will have to stick with their aggro also.

Nearly every mob is the same in that most of the threat put upon them is from reflective damage. The more they hit you, the more threat you gain upon that target. Rapidly fast hitting mobs are the best in terms of how fast aggro is established, while slow, hard hitting mobs present the challenge of slow gained threat(7).

You must balance all your attributes and skills, as well as have knowledge of what you're doing. Never pull more than you can tank, and always keep your attention on the primary target(8). You must also learn the difficult challenge of mana efficiency. Even if you are not being hurt at all, you must purposely lure damage upon yourself, or you will not get enough mana back to hold the mob to you(9).

There will be times where you are sure you're a goner, but there is not much you can do about it. You could use Divine Shield, ensuring no more damage or attacks to you for a limited time, but then your party will be killed, and they will all hate you(10). At an inevitable wipe, you want to try to use Divine Intervention, but there are rarely good times to use it, and when you can, it is usually on cooldown.

Tanking(11) is a hard and very difficult job, but it is one of the most important. A great deal of it is about the skill alone(12), though quite often, it is largely based upon your gear(13). You may have the skill, but get to a pain in the @$$ mob without good enough gear, and you stand no chance.


1) Attractive female.
2) Initation friendly conversation, words to strike her interest, buying a drink, etc.
3) After establishing interest, stay back for a bit, making sure the attraction is mutual. Unless its a sneaky woman of lies and trickery, then you must also lie to lure where you want.
4) Everyday kindness, humor, and friendliness toward the target.
5) Mana = time, money, patience, mental stress, physical fatigue.
6) "Only friends"
7) You hope for a lady that abuses constantly, but so little that it actually seems to help. As opposed to bi-polars, why don't attack you often, but when they do, its trouble.
8) Never attract her friends or any other females. If you do, make sure the girlfriend knows that she is #1.
9) If you think your fine and there's no trouble, you're wrong. You're going to slowly stop focusing as much upon her because she's never any worry to you. But then you will lose her. You must purposely put yourself in positions that let you get hurt, even a small bit, for she will realize she hurt you, apologize, and stick to you more.
10) Ignore her. Stop answering calls, try to dissappear. But then she'll likely call all your friends non stop asking about you, and they will all greatly despise you for it.
11) Love
12) What a good person you are, how kind and loyal you, caring and devoted.
13) How much money you have. Nice car, fancy clothes, big house? All needed.
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Postby Thesupreme » Wed Apr 16, 2008 8:53 am

How can I report this for sticky? It just make so much sense!
Superman tanks all!

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Postby Lightstrider » Wed Apr 16, 2008 8:54 am

Time = money
Girls = time x money
girls = money x money
money = square root of evil (money is the root of all evil)


Girls = evil
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Postby thewarphrog » Wed Apr 16, 2008 8:56 am

Now I'm going to work on explaining avoidance and mitigation. Ah, and how you gain block value, that's a big one. Looks like I'll actually be doing something important at work today! =D lol
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Postby Shamora » Wed Apr 16, 2008 12:35 pm

Lightstrider wrote:Time = money
Girls = time x money
girls = money x money
money = square root of evil (money is the root of all evil)


Girls = evil

Who ever said evil was bad ;)
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Postby Maxenaden » Wed Apr 16, 2008 12:37 pm

Wow... just wow :lol:
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Postby ryan4nayr » Wed Apr 16, 2008 12:50 pm

Posted on the WoW forums by level 70 undead warrior Jahan of <Chaotic Truth> guild in the Firetree realm

0. How to pick up women, WOW-style | 03/06/2007 07:41:50 AM PST

As many of us are starting to gear up for the new "end-game" encounters via heroic 5 mans and what not, I feel that it is time to share the strategies I have found most useful for attempting some of the hardest runs you may ever face, that of attempting to pick up chicks at a bar. These strategies however rely upon teamwork, you will find little if any advice on soloing this type of instance. In advance I feel the need to warn you that these tactics have only been tested at the epic collegic level, but not at the higher heroic post graduate level. I hope that these strategies will aid many of my fellow WOW players who decide to attempt these difficult instances in the hopes of the phatest of l00ts. (btw, any and all sweeping generalizations I make concerning the female sex are made out of chauvinistic ignorance and latent misogynistic tendincies. I apologize in advance for any offense I give.)

1. How to 5 man your local bar
The title of this section may be somewhat misleading since the majority of the tactics and strategies that will be described were built around a 3 man team. However all of these strategies can be scaled up to the 5 man level with little or no effort. Be warned though, in my experience trying to raid a bar will likely result in failure. A 5 man, possibly a 7 man on the outside is the maximum number of people you will want in your group. But you will definitely need at the least 2 members for your group, because after all a group of 1 is not a group.

The reason behind the need to approach an instance such as a bar with a group and not solo is simple, almost all women travel in packs, especially in an environment such as a bar. (of course there will be some women who go to bars by themselves, but these will be considered epic bosses due to the fact that they will most likely wtfown you if you make any mistake in pulling them. And its a sad thing to see a man out in the parking lot crying.) Therefore any man who attempts to solo a group of women will soon be either zoning out of the instance, or having to make a corpse run back to his dignity. Further, you can not PUG an instance such as a bar, you need a solid premade with members that you know well, know their roles, and are willing to fulfill these roles in order to make the run successful. The quick break down of successful groups looks something like

2-man leader
2.MT (DD)

3-man leader
2.MT (DD)
3.OT or rogue

4-man leader
3.OT (DD)
4.rogue (should bring a seperate car)

5-man leader
5.rogue (should bring a seperate car)

The party leader of course being the one who is guaranteed the loot if the run is successful, with the OT's and rogue with a better than fair chance of loot, and the MT probably with a long drive home, unless the run is uber successful.

Now then to focus primarily on the 3-man team with a MT and an OT (rogue tactics will be explained later). To start the encounter, you must first pick which group of women you will be attempting to pull. If this is your first run, try to take on groups of women with at least one member fewer than your group, after a while you can move up to groups of the same number, and eventually if your team is solid, you can attempt groups that outnumber your own, with a maximum of 2 members more than your own, past that number and the encounter becomes impossible imo. This scenario will focus on a small pull of women, namely 2.

Once your target is selected, you start the pull either by sending the MT or the PL in, depending on the situation (btw it is a good idea to do at least 5 minutes of recon before attempting the pull), you send the PL in first if the dominate personality in the pull is the primary target. However if the primary target seems to be one of the lesser members of the group, you send the MT in first. Either way, quickly after the pull, the trash mob will make her appearance, she is the one that is out to make sure the run will be difficult for you. ( you know, the one that constantly reminds her friends that they have a test coming up or not to drink so much, basically the blocker.) This is the raison d'etre for your MT, his role is to identify and nullify the trash mob by tanking her. This is to be accomplished by engaging her in conversation and buying her drinks. Once he has the aggro of the trash mob, he needs to try and turn her around so that the primary target is no longer in her LOS. Once this is accomplished the PL and OT move in, the PL engages the primary target with the usual methods of courtship, while the OT takes up position nearby and nurses a soft drink. His only task is to make sure that if the MT loses aggro, he can quickly step up and start tanking before the trash mob is able to do too much damage to the PL and throw down massive debuffs while buffing the primary targets ability to say no. If the MT does lose aggro and the OT is capable of picking it up, the MT and OT need to work together to draw the trash mob further away from the primary target until they are no longer in each others LOS. Continue this strategy until the PL takes down the primary target and then it is up to the MT and OT to decide if they wish to try looting the trash mob.

Pulling for larger groups
In encounters with larger groups on both sides, the tactics are basically the same, with the exception that the OT(s) will handle the mobs that are not the primary target nor the trash mob, with occasionally taking up aggro from the trash mob if the MT loses her. These other mobs usually are better in the quality of loot that they drop than the trash mob, so usually it is a good idea if the OT(s) go ahead and loot.

This strategy works
This strategy works based off of the many times I have employed it. However I have only tested it in college level bars, and also with my own skill set of picking up chicks. Not everyone has maxed out this valuable stat, however I would suggest that you do so by attempting this strategy, sure you may fail, but it is a good way to level your ability to pick up while minimizing the outside factors that effect being able to get the digits.

*edited for spelling errors*
Post edited by Jahan

1. Re: How to pick up women, WOW-style | 03/06/2007 07:42:23 AM PST

The role of Rogues
I decided to split this into a seperate section because the role of the rogue in a run such as this is unique. Depending on how you look at it, the role of the rogue is to either screw over his own party for personal gain, or to aid his party ... through personal gain. The way the rogue accomplishes this is through their ability to vanish. This is a very important skill that takes time to perfect and is one of the more usefull skills that a party utilizes when runing an instance such as this.

The ability to vanish is simply put, the ability to perform a type of kiting, really it is pulling aggro on a target (not the primary target nor the trash mob) and then vanishing from the encounter with the mob you pulled in tow. The way this helps a party is that it reduces the number of mobs they have to contend with, and the way it hurts is, if the encounter goes badly, the rogue may be the only one to get loot.

The way a rogue should operate sounds simple, but is at the same time quite difficult. Once the MT goes in and pulls the trash mob aggro, the rogue should go in and pull one of the other mobs through either his wit, appearance, or linguistic capabilities. Once aggro has been established, the rogue needs to find someway to seperate the selected mob from the rest of the group (invite to the dance floor, ask her to help carry an order of drinks, whatever). The key factor which makes this role difficult lies in the fact that once the mob is seperated, the rogue has to continue to come up with ways to hold aggro, primarily through use of his linguistic capabilities. Once the seperation occurs, it is vital for the vanish to go off without a hitch for the rogue kite the mob away from the rest of the party. I.E. make sure that once you aggro her, her friends never see her again for the rest of the evening. (Of course this also means that your party will not see you again for the rest of the evening either, thus you "vanish") From this point it is up to you and you alone to solo this mob in order to make sure that the loot drops.

If the Vanish works
If your plan succeeds, you should attempt to leave before the rest of the party is finished with the encounter. Thus it is recommended that you have access to a different vehicle than the rest of your party. Further it is necessary that you limit your intake of alcohol during the fight in order to be capable of driving (while making sure she ingests much more in order to increase your chances at soloing.) Once you get her to the car though, its all up to you.

I hope this strategy helps others in the WOW community refine their attempts on running the bar instances on those Friday and Saturday nights. May your phat loot be epic both IG and IRL.


Here is the address of the How to Date women, WOW-style thread ... 9680&sid=1

And the address of the Dating women(Heroic Level), WOW-style thread ... 5793&sid=1

Post edited by Jahan
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Postby thewarphrog » Wed Apr 16, 2008 1:00 pm

That is freakin awesome. . .

Thank you. Lol
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Postby ryan4nayr » Wed Apr 16, 2008 1:08 pm

And obviously this was inspired by that WoW thread...

0. How to Date Women Wow style | 03/07/2007 09:04:52 PM PS
Posted by level 70 undead rogue Uum of <FOS> guild in Firetree realm

As the title suggests this thread is an addendum to my previous thread, How to pick up women, WOW-style which can be accessed here. ... 2348&sid=1 I would like to take this time to thank everyone who posted such favorable responses to the original topic, which subsequently inspired me to seek additional information and bring some solid strategies and tactics on approaching the dating scene. In this vein I would like to thank my best friend Uum for providing the technical details on how to successfully approach the dating instance. Be forewarned, this guide is meant for a casual dating style prevalent in the collegiate environment, please refer to other guides for the more formal requirements found in the Heroic post-grad level.(btw, any and all sweeping generalizations we make concerning the female sex are made out of chauvinistic ignorance and latent misogynistic tendencies. We apologize in advance for any offense we give.)

Gearing up for the Instance

Before you start your attempt at this encounter, you need to be properly equipped so you don't wipe in the first five minutes. Here is a brief list of gear that you will need to collect before starting your run.

Chest - Simple Tee Shirt/Polo Shirt (depending upon the mob you are trying to solo)
obtainable from a specialty goods vendor

Legs - Jeans/Khakis (either can fit this slot well)
obtainable from a specialty goods vendor

Feet - Nice shoes (preferably Chucks!! Feel free to coordinate shirt with shoes)
obtainable from a specialty goods vendor

Trinket – Barman’s Trophy (or equivalent)
drops during the pick up instance


Clean Cut (received from a nice haircut/facial hair trim)

Just cleaned (is received after taking a shower)

Old Spice/Axe Effect (purchased at a general goods vendor)

Just Paid (This is probably the most important buff you will need, and is received after having the job instance on farm status)

How to Solo Dating (regular level)

The first dating instance we will describe is the first stage dating or "regular level." These are the early dates before the Heroic level "Steady" dating. This type of dating is very gear dependent, unlike the Heroic level which is based more upon the player's skill level. In the regular level dating, it is imperative that all your gear is repaired and at maximum durability, anything less than your best will result in a massive decrease in rep with the mob's faction. Furthermore, for this level of dating, a mount is a must, (preferably an epic) make sure it is fairly nice looking and clean. Additionally some players may feel the need to pimp out their epic mount; we feel that this is allowable, as long as the player shows some restraint in the pimping process.

The Pull

Once the player has the appropriate gear and buffs applied, he needs to mount up and head to the entrance of the instance. There he will experience one of two different scenarios once zoning in, either the primary target mob will be in aggro range immediately, or some trash mobs will be between her and the player. If there are trash mobs involved, the player needs to use his linguistic skills to dps them down quickly (at this point amateur rogues may have to resist the urge to blind/vanish). This is where the first three buffs start to come into play; they will help in gaining/holding the aggro without causing the mob(s) to try and crit you with dps. Once the trash mobs are out of the way, you can now focus your attacks on the primary target. This is accomplished via porting her to a pre-determined eating establishment. Note that this eating establishment must be at least dine-in quality to successfully keep aggro on the mob. (btw, McDonald's or a similar establishment will quickly cause your rep with her faction to drop quickly, sometimes to unfriendly if not hated.) Once in the restaurant, the player must continue to hold aggro via his linguistic capabilites, with the occasional aggro generation of alcohol thrown in. Of course this is the first stage where the Just Paid buff comes into play since the player should be paying for the consumables used throughout this instance.

1. How to Date Women Wow style | 03/07/2007 09:05:55 PM PS
Posted by level 70 undead rogue Uum of <FOS> guild in Firetree realm

Pulling Continued

After a certain amount of time the mob will lose the "interest" buff with the restaurant instance, and will build up a resistance to the player's linguistic capabilities. Around this time it is essential to pull the mob to the next area of instance, the park, the pool-hall, or in our case, the theater. For our strategy we chose the theater because it is a good place for players unfamiliar with the run to learn some other aggro generation techniques other than taunt. Techniques which include non-verbal methods such as direct-contact, facial expressions, and emotes. In the theater environment you will have about 1.5 to 2.5 hours where the mob's aggro is no longer entirely the player's responsibility. However this does no mean that the player should stop tanking, instead they should focus on other means of holding aggro, such as strategically placing consumables such as popcorn/soda in such a way that physical contact is made whenever she attempts to use the items.(her hand brushing yours, etc.) Depending upon the success of the run to that time, you may be able to initiate further physical contact such as putting your arm around her shoulder. Depending upon the class that is soloing this instance, this maneuver can either be very difficult or extremely easy. For a rogue/hunter/druid, this should be a simple matter. However for the rest of the classes, it will require a very good run up to this point to be able to pull this off. If this move can be pulled off, the player's rep will drastically increase. During this part of the run once again it is critical that the player still has the Just Paid buff on since he needs it to purchase not only the keys to this section of the instance, but the consumables used there as well.

As an aside, concerning the choice of movie, deciding what to see is a critical decision that must be made before pulling the mob into the theater part of the instance. Of course we are all aware that certain movies are definitely off limits for the dating encounter, (I.E. Casino Royale, 300, things of that nature.) however even limiting ourselves to movies that do not fall into this category leaves us with several options that could potentially wipe the attempt. The general attitude of the mob plays an important role in determining which movie is right for your run, but most women enjoy two types of movies, the emote (lots of emotion and dialogue, heavy on plot less so on action) and the funny animated movie (Shrek, Finding Nemo, etc.). Therefore before you attempt the theater part of the pull, plan which movie is appropriate, not only to decrease the amount of dps you need to put out to hold aggro, but also one that you can survive the "bored" debuff through. I have seen some men crit with this debuff, and never fully recover. Trust me when I say, it is not pretty!

Last 20%

The last 20% is a critical time in all our lives, it is the time that we feel we must throw in as much dps as possible to close the deal, yet at the same time, there is enough space for the run to wipe if handled improperly. This is the part of the run where the player needs to pull the mob back to the entrance of the instance. It is very critical that all the buffs are still up, (with the possible exception of Just Paid) in some runs this means dropping aggro long enough for a bio break to reapply the Old Spice/Axe Effect and the Clean Cut buff. Once you have positioned the mob just outside the entrance to the instance, she should be down to 5% at the maximum. At this time, you need to pop your trinket, “Barman’s Trophy”, and go in for the finishing kiss. If you have been successful during the run this will go off without a hitch and you will receive a massive rep bonus that will allow you to run the instance again. If you mess this part up however, you wipe and your rep drastically decreases. At this point you will need to run several rep grinds to bring your rep level up enough to run the instance again.


Thank you for taking the time to read what I know is an epic wall of text. We hope that you will be able to draw ideas from this strategy to successfully attempt the regular level dating instance. Thanks for all the previous posters who left such great input and prompted us to write additional strategies, and watch out for more strategies later. May your loots be phat both IG and IRL.

Jahan and Uum
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Postby thewarphrog » Wed Apr 16, 2008 1:15 pm

This guy is my new hero. Lol

But no, wasn't inspired by that. I have never seen either of those threads, or even heard of them before. It just came to me last night after getting off WoW. =P

I'm typing up a few more chapters about mitigation and avoidance gearing. Lol. Posting it soon hopefully.
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Postby thewarphrog » Wed Apr 16, 2008 1:34 pm

Chapter 2: Required Stats.

As for stats, you need to know what you should gear and gem for. First of all, you need to be uncrittable(14), and then you need to reach uncrushable(15). Crushes are completely random and will take you down fast, so hit uncrushable soon as you can. Try to have a good amount of armor too(16). It is easy to get, and should not be a major concern because it is simple and constant. Dear god, do NOT gem for parry(17). Sure, parry is an amazing stat, but it is extremely expensive in terms of item points, so you could get far more going for anything else. Also, when you parry it gives you a free atack, but that also means it gives your target more chances to parry also, eventually leading to more pain to you, unless you're expertise capped(18).

Most agree that it is best to gem for dodge(19) more than all else. It offers more total avoidance, and not terribly expensive in item points. It is also useful to gather plenty of block value and rating(20). You will not gain total avoidance from it, but it is a steady reduction of damage from most every attack. Of course, block tends to decline end-game, and this is natural and how it goes with most tanks as they gear up(21).


14) Hide your unwanted emotions, especially sadness.
15) She will try to crush your mental and emotional state from time to time. Be aware of it and don't let it happen.
16) Self Esteem.
17) Being a jackass. Sure, you'll be able to fight back when she's a b**ch, but it'll cost you. More insults you knock back, the more that come back to you.
18) Have had lots of knowledge and experience with *itchy girls, and know what they're doing.
19) Avoiding the confrontations entirely, and starting nothing more.
20) Witty retorts/Snappy comebacks
21) The longer you're with her, the less effective your everyday retorts will become.
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