Relationships

Invisusira's playground

Moderators: Aergis, Invisusira

Re: Relationships

Postby Aubade » Fri Dec 06, 2013 10:51 am

I'm not sure how many of you guys are familiar with boogie on youtube. But ever since he did his "draw my life" Talking about his life experiences, I think he's a great example of how life can get better as a "hugless huge virgin"
Image
- Awbade Level 85 Human Paladin - <Tsunami> Frostmourne - Retired.
Deliriously wrote:I prefer the, "Lonely Hand Approach" (trademark pending)
User avatar
Aubade
Moderator
 
Posts: 4030
Joined: Sun Jan 18, 2009 12:51 am
Location: Tacoma, WA

Re: Relationships

Postby Sabindeus » Fri Dec 06, 2013 12:08 pm

Aubade wrote:I'm not sure how many of you guys are familiar with boogie on youtube. But ever since he did his "draw my life" Talking about his life experiences, I think he's a great example of how life can get better as a "hugless huge virgin"


I've watched that. All the feels.

Of course when you have yet to solve those problems for yourself it rings slightly hollow. As someone who fits that profile I certainly do find myself feeling all sorts of negative things all the time, especially when faced with the success of others, even those who went through tough times like Francis the youtube celebrity.

But I am also fully cognizant of the fact that its no one else's fault that my life is the way it is and it's entirely up to me to improve it one way or another. No one else can do that for me.

I avoided posting during this chapter of the Relationships thread because I didn't feel I had anything to add, nor any advice that would help. But that comment I felt I had to respond to.
Image
Turn In, an NPC interaction automator - http://wow.curse.com/downloads/wow-addo ... rn-in.aspx
User avatar
Sabindeus
Moderator
 
Posts: 6040
Joined: Mon May 14, 2007 9:24 am

Re: Relationships

Postby Fivelives » Fri Dec 13, 2013 9:43 am

Right. So, I could use some advice.

I've been best friends with a woman for the last 16 years. We're basically brother and sister. Lately, her boyfriend (of 4 years, now) has been getting RIDICULOUSLY jealous - to the extent that, when the three of us went to see the Hobbit last night, he confronted her - during the movie - about her tendency to grab on to people on both sides of her when she's shocked during a movie. It went something like "would you stop touching him already?" - which upset her greatly, and pissed me right off.

I need to have a talk with this boy, but there's a problem. He's a complete manchild. He's 36 years old, lives with his parents, works a part time retail cashier job (that he's worked for the last 5 years or so without a promotion or more than the raise that comes whenever they up the minimum wage), and spends all of his paycheck on Magic: the Gathering cards and traveling to tournaments in Vegas. He's got a whole host of reasons why I hate him, including but not limited to, making my best friend absolutely miserable. However, my best friend loves surrounding herself with broken people and is convinced that she loves the manchild.

She's okay with me having a talk with him about his jealousy and insecurity, but I need to do so in a way that doesn't torpedo her relationship with him, otherwise it'll lose me my oldest, dearest friend in the process. In this case, for lack of a better term, I'm the "nuclear option". So how would you guys suggest that I go about having The Talk with Stoneskull McManchild without completely destroying my relationship with my best friend?
- I'm not Jesus, but I can turn water into Kool-Aid.
- A Sergeant in motion outranks an officer who doesn't know what the hell is going on.
- A demolitions specialist at a flat run outranks everybody.
User avatar
Fivelives
 
Posts: 2801
Joined: Sat Feb 16, 2008 7:55 pm

Re: Relationships

Postby Nooska » Fri Dec 13, 2013 11:00 am

First, I would suggest you have a good long think on why he might be jealous (so you can possibly mitigate those fears).

The most obvious to me (combining what you've described with what I've garnered and assumed from tyour other posts), is that you are a "dominant" male (not that you try to dominate, but that you exude all the dominant traits, like confidence etc).
Add to that that he probably doesn't feel like he is a great success (living at home at age 36 (and not being italian*), while being the stereotypical 'nerd', in this case in regards to MtG).

I think you also need to take a good thin on why your best friend has chosen to be with him, starting by setting aside your prejudgement - think him up in other words.
Thats the only way (that I see) that you can salvage this in regards to your friend staying your friend. The other option (apart from talking him down from worries and focusing on him being a good person for your friend) is to NOT be apart of it, so you are not the one to talk to him - that may or may not feel like an option of course.


*Its a standing joke aorund here that men in italy don't move out till they are in their 40's - not sure how much thruth there is to the joke, so apologiges in advance.
Main Characters:
Nooska, Blood Elf BM/SV Hunter on Argent Dawn (EU)
Morosin, Bloody freezing orc death knight on Argent Dawn (EU)
Niisca, Shady forsaken "priest" on Argent Dawn (EU)

Keeper Emeritus of the BM hunters guide on Elitist Jerks and the wowhead version untill patch 5.3.
User avatar
Nooska
 
Posts: 1516
Joined: Sun Nov 27, 2011 10:55 am

Re: Relationships

Postby Fivelives » Fri Dec 13, 2013 5:24 pm

I am a very dominant person, yeah, but it's not just me that he's reacting to this way. I wasn't saying there's anything bad about MtG (or nerdery in general), but rather being 36 and spending all your income on games while being supported by someone else - that's the "bad" thing there.

My friend collects broken people. That's her schtick - she absolutely needs to feel "needed" by others. That's probably a large part of why she's with this guy. But she asked me to have a "hey bro, listen" heart to heart with him, and he went from being one of my not-particularly-favorite people to my least favorite person when he picked a fight with her in a movie theater all because she grabbed my arm during the movie. That pissed me off on multiple levels.
- I'm not Jesus, but I can turn water into Kool-Aid.
- A Sergeant in motion outranks an officer who doesn't know what the hell is going on.
- A demolitions specialist at a flat run outranks everybody.
User avatar
Fivelives
 
Posts: 2801
Joined: Sat Feb 16, 2008 7:55 pm

Re: Relationships

Postby Fridmarr » Fri Dec 13, 2013 5:31 pm

Does she want you to talk to him about his life or just deal with the jealousy issue? If it's the former, that's not going to go well no matter what you say, and I'd stay out of it. If it's the latter, then make sure you leave the rest of that stuff out of it and focus on the jealousy.

So if it is the jealousy, just be honest with and tell him how it is, and let him know your relationship with his GF is plutonic and to knock off the high school crap if he wants to progress with her. If can't handle that, then there's not much you can do and your friend will likely end up dumping him if it bothers her.
Fridmarr
Global Mod
 
Posts: 6464
Joined: Sun Apr 08, 2007 1:03 am

Re: Relationships

Postby Skye1013 » Sun Dec 15, 2013 10:04 am

Date get. That is all.
"me no gay, me friends gay, me no like you call me gay, you dumb dumb" -bldavis
"Here are the values that I stand for: I stand for honesty, equality, kindness, compassion, treating people the way you wanna be treated, and helping those in need. To me, those are traditional values. That’s what I stand for." -Ellen Degeneres
"I'm not going to censor myself to comfort your ignorance." -Jon Stewart
Horde: Clopin Dylon Sharkbait Xiaman Metria Metapriest
Alliance: Schatze Aleks Deegee Baileyi Sotanaht Danfer Shazta Rawrsalot Roobyroo
User avatar
Skye1013
Maintankadonor
 
Posts: 3526
Joined: Tue May 18, 2010 5:47 am
Location: JBPH-Hickam, Hawaii

Re: Relationships

Postby bldavis » Sun Dec 15, 2013 10:19 am

Skye1013 wrote:Date get. That is all.

<-- jealous
Image

Brekkie:Tanks are like shitty DPS. And healers are like REALLY distracted DPS
Amirya:Why yes, your penis is longer than his because you hit 30k dps in the first 10 seconds. But guess what? That raid boss has a dick bigger than your ego.
Flex:I don't make mistakes. I execute carefully planned strategic group wipes.
Levie:(in /g) It's weird, I have a collar and I dont know where I got it from, Worgen are kinky!
Levie:Drunk Lev goes and does what he pleases just to annoy sober Lev.
Sagara:You see, you need to *spread* the bun before you insert the hot dog.
User avatar
bldavis
 
Posts: 6111
Joined: Mon Sep 07, 2009 12:04 pm
Location: Searching for myself. If i get back before I return, please have me stop and wait for myself.

Re: Relationships

Postby Nooska » Sun Dec 15, 2013 10:41 am

I should follow up on that and invite out the GF.. I have some tickets for a movie, she most likely wants to see the new Hobbit movie.. hmmm...
Idea Get!
Main Characters:
Nooska, Blood Elf BM/SV Hunter on Argent Dawn (EU)
Morosin, Bloody freezing orc death knight on Argent Dawn (EU)
Niisca, Shady forsaken "priest" on Argent Dawn (EU)

Keeper Emeritus of the BM hunters guide on Elitist Jerks and the wowhead version untill patch 5.3.
User avatar
Nooska
 
Posts: 1516
Joined: Sun Nov 27, 2011 10:55 am

Re: Relationships

Postby Skye1013 » Sun Dec 15, 2013 11:16 am

The plan is to get ice cream and watch the first Hunger Games (and possibly the first Hobbit.) He hasn't seen the Hobbit, I haven't seen Hunger Games... seems like a win/win!
"me no gay, me friends gay, me no like you call me gay, you dumb dumb" -bldavis
"Here are the values that I stand for: I stand for honesty, equality, kindness, compassion, treating people the way you wanna be treated, and helping those in need. To me, those are traditional values. That’s what I stand for." -Ellen Degeneres
"I'm not going to censor myself to comfort your ignorance." -Jon Stewart
Horde: Clopin Dylon Sharkbait Xiaman Metria Metapriest
Alliance: Schatze Aleks Deegee Baileyi Sotanaht Danfer Shazta Rawrsalot Roobyroo
User avatar
Skye1013
Maintankadonor
 
Posts: 3526
Joined: Tue May 18, 2010 5:47 am
Location: JBPH-Hickam, Hawaii

Re: Relationships

Postby Era » Sun Dec 15, 2013 11:25 am

Definitely a win/win! Both good movies. GF and I are planning to go watch the second Hunger Games aaaand the second Hobbit movie near the end of this week (once my exams are done). Might have to re-watch the two first movies first though! :lol:
"Ask stupid questions. Growth is fuelled by desire and innocence. Assess the answer,
not the question. Imagine learning throughout your life at the rate of an infant."
User avatar
Era
 
Posts: 1376
Joined: Tue May 31, 2011 5:51 am
Location: Norway/Japan

Re: Relationships

Postby Sagara » Sun Dec 15, 2013 11:54 am

Mmh, sounds like an idea for us - the wife won 5 tickets last week on the radio.

Sadly, already seen HG :-/ Well, Hobbit and something else then.
When that day comes, seek all the light and wonder of this world, and fight.

Worldie wrote:I used to like it [mean] back on Sylvanas.

Queldan - EU Stormrage (H) - Good night, sweet prince.
User avatar
Sagara
 
Posts: 3272
Joined: Mon Jan 12, 2009 1:04 am
Location: Belgium

Re: Relationships

Postby Arnock » Sun Dec 15, 2013 8:55 pm

Just saw the Hobbit this afternoon. Objectively decent movie, but not too great of an adaption of the book.
Image
Courage not of this earth in your eyes
Faith from far beyond lies deep inside
User avatar
Arnock
 
Posts: 2776
Joined: Tue Apr 08, 2008 6:36 pm
Location: Everywhere and nowhere

Re: Relationships

Postby Fridmarr » Sun Dec 15, 2013 10:25 pm

Arnock wrote:Objectively decent movie, but not too great of an adaption of the book.

Yeah, I felt pretty much the same way. It's a significantly different story.
Fridmarr
Global Mod
 
Posts: 6464
Joined: Sun Apr 08, 2007 1:03 am

Re: Relationships

Postby Skye1013 » Sun Dec 15, 2013 11:12 pm

Group of us might be going to see it this weekend. One of my coworkers was disappointed in the first one... his comment about it compared to LotR: "It's like a Michael Bay version of LotR... and that's not a good thing."
"me no gay, me friends gay, me no like you call me gay, you dumb dumb" -bldavis
"Here are the values that I stand for: I stand for honesty, equality, kindness, compassion, treating people the way you wanna be treated, and helping those in need. To me, those are traditional values. That’s what I stand for." -Ellen Degeneres
"I'm not going to censor myself to comfort your ignorance." -Jon Stewart
Horde: Clopin Dylon Sharkbait Xiaman Metria Metapriest
Alliance: Schatze Aleks Deegee Baileyi Sotanaht Danfer Shazta Rawrsalot Roobyroo
User avatar
Skye1013
Maintankadonor
 
Posts: 3526
Joined: Tue May 18, 2010 5:47 am
Location: JBPH-Hickam, Hawaii

Re: Relationships

Postby Arnock » Sun Dec 15, 2013 11:43 pm

A decent comparison.

It just seems really odd, stylistically. Especially seeing as LotR seemed to be fairly grounded in reality.

If I didn't know that Peter Jackson directed the Hobbit, I'd probably assume that it had a different director.


I'm not crazy about the movies, but they're entertaining enough.
Image
Courage not of this earth in your eyes
Faith from far beyond lies deep inside
User avatar
Arnock
 
Posts: 2776
Joined: Tue Apr 08, 2008 6:36 pm
Location: Everywhere and nowhere

Re: Relationships

Postby Sagara » Mon Dec 16, 2013 3:14 pm

Ok. Frozen is actually a really cool movie. Felt like time well spent. "Let it go" is also unashamed and great Oscar bait.
When that day comes, seek all the light and wonder of this world, and fight.

Worldie wrote:I used to like it [mean] back on Sylvanas.

Queldan - EU Stormrage (H) - Good night, sweet prince.
User avatar
Sagara
 
Posts: 3272
Joined: Mon Jan 12, 2009 1:04 am
Location: Belgium

Re: Relationships

Postby Brekkie » Wed Dec 18, 2013 12:14 am

Arnock wrote:A decent comparison.

It just seems really odd, stylistically. Especially seeing as LotR seemed to be fairly grounded in reality.

If I didn't know that Peter Jackson directed the Hobbit, I'd probably assume that it had a different director.


I'm not crazy about the movies, but they're entertaining enough.


Agreed.

People keep asking me why I think it's a big deal because "it's a FANTASY after all!"
I feel like that misses the point.Fantasy worlds are great. There can be dragons and hobbits and magic and that is all fine. But I expect the fantasy world to still operate under the same laws of physics and probability as my world, unless a very clear reason if given why it should do otherwise.

~~~~BEWARE, HERE BE SPOILERS~~~~~~








In the book, the dwarves quietly hide in barrels lashed together to form a raft, and float gently down the placid river without being discovered until arriving in laketown.
In the movie, that plausible escape plan was turned into a ridiculous scene that was so over the top I couldn't tell it was a parody. At one point Legolas literally does a backflip and lands with one foot on each of two dwarves heads and swordfights orcs while rushing down over a waterfall. Seriously. Oh and how exactly are these barrels FLOATING when they are OPEN? Try getting a barrel to do that in real life.

And don't even get me started about the rectum-derived love-triangle romantic subplot between Legolas, the token female elf, and KILI THE DWARF

Don't get me wrong, this movie had some good parts, and not EVERY thing they changed from the books was bad. I was OK with Brand's Black Arrow being a dwarven metal bolt for the windlass crossbow thing. And I've even resolved myself to being OK with them stuffing Radagast the Birdshit into the movie from the bottom of the dregs of the Appendix.

And Smaug was excellent. The reveal was perfect, and the whole scene with him talking to Bilbo was fantastically done.
But then they ruined it with another ridiculous scene again. They worked so hard building up Smaug to be a amazing bad guy that was truly intimidating and that we the audience feared, and then completely destroyed our ability to take him seriously by making him totally inept, chasing the stupid dwarfs around the inside of the mountain like an episode of Scooby Doo. And the completely implausible, overly-complicated, ridiculous "plan" the dwarves concoct and somehow execute because Smaug is apparently the stupidest dragon in history brings the movie to its lowest point of mediocrity.

Oh and to top it all off, for some reason random orcs have Nazgul blades as arrowheads now, because THAT makes sense. But they needed that as a heavy-handed plot device to force-feed the love triangle subplot into us by literally lifting a scene from the Fellowship of the Ring nearly verbatim.


The first Hobbit movie last year had the same problem with the scene inside the Goblin Kingdom. That awful scene where they are running through a gigantic rat maze of collapsing scaffolding before falling hundreds and hundreds of meters and at no point does anybody get separated from the group or even twist an ankle.




I hate everything. I hope they all get eaten by a Balrog. How can Peter Jackson sleep at night?
Theckhd wrote:big numbers are the in-game way of expressing that Brekkie's penis is huge.
Brekkie
 
Posts: 918
Joined: Mon Aug 02, 2010 7:44 pm

Re: Relationships

Postby Barathorn » Wed Dec 18, 2013 9:04 am

Spoiler




The water scene was indeed meh and just silly as was the love triangle but the rest of the film was fine, its a film about dwarves going to war to reclaim their homeland, what is not to like? It isn't the film of the book but neither were any of the LOTR films or the first Hobbit film.

Its entertaining and a great story based loosely upon the book with additions made to make the film flow better.

I liked it.
Sabindeus wrote:I feel like I should get a t-shirt made for me that says "Not Socially Awkward, Just Fat".

Brekkie wrote:The world will always need people to dig ditches.
User avatar
Barathorn
Moderator
 
Posts: 5243
Joined: Thu Jul 05, 2007 1:08 am
Location: Hitting Panda's over the head with a cricket bat shouting Get Orf My Lawn!

Re: Relationships

Postby Amirya » Wed Dec 18, 2013 9:10 am

I will say only that I was really really really disappointed that Smaug was all neck and tail, and (to my eye) looked a bit on the scrawny side.
Image

Fetzie wrote:The Defias Brotherhood is back, and this time they are acting as racketeers in Goldshire. Anybody wishing to dance for money must now pay them protection money or be charged triple the normal amount when repairing.
Amirya
Maintankadonor
 
Posts: 2950
Joined: Tue Dec 18, 2007 2:59 am

Re: Relationships

Postby Fridmarr » Wed Dec 18, 2013 10:35 am

Along with the new stuff that Brekkie pointed out, I was disappointed with how rushed and inconsequential the Beorne scenes felt. A ton of potential there that was missed.

Still I liked the movie overall.
Fridmarr
Global Mod
 
Posts: 6464
Joined: Sun Apr 08, 2007 1:03 am

Re: Relationships

Postby Barathorn » Thu Dec 19, 2013 3:43 am

Amirya wrote:I will say only that I was really really really disappointed that Smaug was all neck and tail, and (to my eye) looked a bit on the scrawny side.


Dragons in Middle Earth are generally like that, hence the references to the 'Great Wurms of the Withered Heath' throughout the literature. They aren't the more bulky reptiles we are used to seeing in other films/shows.

I hope that explains why he looked the way he did :)
Sabindeus wrote:I feel like I should get a t-shirt made for me that says "Not Socially Awkward, Just Fat".

Brekkie wrote:The world will always need people to dig ditches.
User avatar
Barathorn
Moderator
 
Posts: 5243
Joined: Thu Jul 05, 2007 1:08 am
Location: Hitting Panda's over the head with a cricket bat shouting Get Orf My Lawn!

Re: Relationships

Postby Amirya » Thu Dec 19, 2013 8:29 am

It does, thank you, but it was still disappointing. My first thought was, "I'm supposed to find this runt terrifying?" :mrgreen:
Image

Fetzie wrote:The Defias Brotherhood is back, and this time they are acting as racketeers in Goldshire. Anybody wishing to dance for money must now pay them protection money or be charged triple the normal amount when repairing.
Amirya
Maintankadonor
 
Posts: 2950
Joined: Tue Dec 18, 2007 2:59 am

Re: Relationships

Postby Skye1013 » Thu Dec 19, 2013 10:38 pm

*hops off the spoiler train*

Ok, so the date went pretty well. We didn't manage to get ice cream (due to our work schedules having us working nights and us not waking up in time to go grab some) but we did watch both Hunger Games and The Hobbit (as well as Despicable Me 2 and Percy Jackson 2.) Planning to still go for ice cream this weekend and watch HG2/Hobbit2. Might have even convinced him to join the D&D campaign I'm in.

There was apparently something that didn't want us to watch Hunger Games though... he couldn't find his copy (apparently had left it at a friends house and that friend was on vacation.) He finally decided to just go pick up the blu-ray version, we hit up wal-mart... they didn't have any in stock. Our last resort was to Red Box it (which was a success.)

Need to finish cleaning up my apt so he can come over (we've been hanging out at the house he's been dog-sitting for.)
"me no gay, me friends gay, me no like you call me gay, you dumb dumb" -bldavis
"Here are the values that I stand for: I stand for honesty, equality, kindness, compassion, treating people the way you wanna be treated, and helping those in need. To me, those are traditional values. That’s what I stand for." -Ellen Degeneres
"I'm not going to censor myself to comfort your ignorance." -Jon Stewart
Horde: Clopin Dylon Sharkbait Xiaman Metria Metapriest
Alliance: Schatze Aleks Deegee Baileyi Sotanaht Danfer Shazta Rawrsalot Roobyroo
User avatar
Skye1013
Maintankadonor
 
Posts: 3526
Joined: Tue May 18, 2010 5:47 am
Location: JBPH-Hickam, Hawaii

Re: Relationships

Postby Aubade » Thu Dec 19, 2013 10:48 pm

So some pretty serious stuff here and I really need advice.

I'm thinking of breaking up with my gf of 2 years. I haven't been really happy in our relationship for the past year or so, and our lease is up at the end of the month.

I'm afraid of doing it though, and I don't know how/when to do it. I still care about her and want the best for her, I'm just unhappy with the relationship, and I'm afraid of bad fallout/backlash. We've been living together for about a year, and that's when I started to get annoyed. She's done a pretty good job of "letting me do whatever I want" Because that's what she says, but I know I can't act on the things that I want to do.

For Example I started playing DnD with a group of friends about a year ago, and we meet up every sunday at 1 PM for a 4-5 hour session. When I first started, I talked to her about it and she was perfectly fine with it. After the first session, when I got home she was obviously upset, and wouldn't talk about it. When I finally got it out of her, she admitted she didn't think it would take so long, but she'd "Get over it" I tried inviting her to come hang out with us, which she did once and seemed to have a good time but won't go again. And it's to the point that every weekend she gets quiet/moody every sunday and has been for a long time, yet if I try to talk to her about it she insists that she is perfectly fine with it she just wishes "I had told her how long it would be". But in my opinion, it's only 4-5 hours, once a week. I don't do ANYTHING ELSE that I want to do the rest of the week. It seems extremely unreasonable/selfish to STILL be upset that I don't dedicate every hour of my weekend to her.

That's just one example of many that I have for why I'm not happy. I can't go out with friends, and if I do she calls me every few hours, or gets weird if I don't answer my texts within a few minutes, and it's to the point that I just DON'T go out with friends or get-togethers at all, unless I take her with me. It's always awkward when I take her with me because she just makes it weird, and sits in a corner by herself. Even though she's known all these people since high school!


I'm thinking of waiting until the holidays are over now that I've made my decision to break it off, do you think that's a good idea? Or should I do it now?

Lastly, she does have depression issues and it's been brought up a few times in our fights. I've mentioned that she needs to see a counseler/therapist to help her work through some childhood problems as well as her extreme moodiness. During the fight she'll eventually admit that it's a good idea, but the day after she'll deny it, come up with excuses or be offended that I'd even suggest it. Am I making the right choice in breaking it off?
Image
- Awbade Level 85 Human Paladin - <Tsunami> Frostmourne - Retired.
Deliriously wrote:I prefer the, "Lonely Hand Approach" (trademark pending)
User avatar
Aubade
Moderator
 
Posts: 4030
Joined: Sun Jan 18, 2009 12:51 am
Location: Tacoma, WA

PreviousNext

Return to Arkham Asylum

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 1 guest

Who is online

In total there is 1 user online :: 0 registered, 0 hidden and 1 guest (based on users active over the past 5 minutes)
Most users ever online was 380 on Tue Oct 14, 2008 6:28 pm

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 1 guest