Relationships

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Re: Relationships

Postby Amirya » Wed Aug 07, 2013 10:51 am

...I thought you broke up with her two years ago?

/boggle
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Re: Relationships

Postby bldavis » Wed Aug 07, 2013 11:34 am

decided to, but was waiting to talk to her cause i didnt want to be a jackass who breaks up with someone through a text or email...
i finally said fuck it and just gave up on that
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Brekkie:Tanks are like shitty DPS. And healers are like REALLY distracted DPS
Amirya:Why yes, your penis is longer than his because you hit 30k dps in the first 10 seconds. But guess what? That raid boss has a dick bigger than your ego.
Flex:I don't make mistakes. I execute carefully planned strategic group wipes.
Levie:(in /g) It's weird, I have a collar and I dont know where I got it from, Worgen are kinky!
Levie:Drunk Lev goes and does what he pleases just to annoy sober Lev.
Sagara:You see, you need to *spread* the bun before you insert the hot dog.
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Re: Relationships

Postby Orthien » Wed Aug 07, 2013 2:59 pm

Fridmarr wrote:Don't go through life kicking yourself in the ass over letting that "perfect" woman get away, while hopelessly comparing any future relationship to what you could have had with her. Of course, if you are getting a vibe that you aren't so perfect for her...that's a different story.


That first part is my thoughts exactly for wanting to go over there.

The main ways in which shes quite different is that shes not a very emotion based person, to the point where shes know by some of her friends as 'The Ice Queen'.
Saying that, when things were going well while she was over here last she definitely let her guard down and did 'warm' up a lot, though from talking to her she still didn't feel nearly as strongly for me as I did for her. But if its still the strongest she can feel I spose its not to bad.

The other big thing is that she doesn't want anymore kids. She already has one of her own who I have met and she is adoreable and fantastic, but I would like at least one of my own one day.
I know she hasn't always felt like this so there could be the small chance of her mind changing back but I am not sure if I would resent her later should it not. And even if she did change her mind, her daughter was already a small miricle as she has various health issues to prevent her from safely conceiving.



Sorry to hear about the official end to your relationship bldavis, even when you know things are over its never nice when they actually do end.
Sometimes though it can very quickly turn into a great thing. I know when my last serious relationship ended, I would have done anything to hold on to it, but once it was over I quickly realised how much of a good thing it was to finally be free of it and able to move on.
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Re: Relationships

Postby Amirya » Wed Aug 07, 2013 3:22 pm

I can't comment on the emotional aspects of this, but the other part about offspring.

This is a deal breaker for some people, so here's the question I pose to you: how badly do you want a child who is of your blood? Is adoption not an option for you? If you want this biological child very badly, are you willing to risk the health and life of this woman, already knowing that pregnancy is a health concern that may not end well?

(I've known a few guys for which this actually was a deal breaker.)
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Re: Relationships

Postby bldavis » Wed Aug 07, 2013 5:15 pm

Orthien wrote:Sorry to hear about the official end to your relationship bldavis, even when you know things are over its never nice when they actually do end.
Sometimes though it can very quickly turn into a great thing. I know when my last serious relationship ended, I would have done anything to hold on to it, but once it was over I quickly realised how much of a good thing it was to finally be free of it and able to move on.

i agree... and with other relationships having changed recently it is a welcome change to let go of something i was holding on to simply for fear of being alone
it feels really great to be free from that anchor, like a huge weight has been lifted even though i knew it was over long ago.

i hope everything goes well with your relationship as well.
if it was possible to have another child safely, there may be hope but if she is like my ex wife's cousin..that just isnt an option. (doctors told Vandie that if she got pregnant again, it would most likely kill her)

like Ami said, i guess it really comes down to how badly you want a child of your own blood.
personally i have one..and almost wish i didnt due to my families health history..
if i had a chance though, i would want some more i created and raised, but if it meant the health of the woman i loved to get it..i couldnt do that. i would be looking into adoption if it meant raising a child with her, and giving an unwanted/orphaned child a home and a family they may not have otherwise.

if you truly do feel the need for a child of your bloodline..there is the surrogate option.
i dont know the cost or anything but if she cannot get pregnant/deliver a child without major health risks, and you feel that strongly it might be a solution for you.
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Brekkie:Tanks are like shitty DPS. And healers are like REALLY distracted DPS
Amirya:Why yes, your penis is longer than his because you hit 30k dps in the first 10 seconds. But guess what? That raid boss has a dick bigger than your ego.
Flex:I don't make mistakes. I execute carefully planned strategic group wipes.
Levie:(in /g) It's weird, I have a collar and I dont know where I got it from, Worgen are kinky!
Levie:Drunk Lev goes and does what he pleases just to annoy sober Lev.
Sagara:You see, you need to *spread* the bun before you insert the hot dog.
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Re: Relationships

Postby Orthien » Thu Aug 08, 2013 3:43 am

While there is a bit of risk for her as it is also greatly about a very low chance of the child surviving.

For me its just wanting something of my own blood to raise and what not. As it stands I would be happy to just be a stepdad for her daughter as we get on well but its that fear that it could be a thing to eat at me.

I have started looking at what it takes to move to Aussie, thinking I do need to just suck it up and make a leap.


Good to hear you can already see the positives bldavis.
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Re: Relationships

Postby bldavis » Thu Aug 08, 2013 4:47 am

is it something about her body that causes the risk, or is it genetic?
if it is merely her body..well like i said you could go surrogate route..

ty for the support, it was looking at the positives that finally made me say f-it and cut the tie.
there might be something in the works, but it is far too early to say anything about it and right now i want to enjoy being single
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Brekkie:Tanks are like shitty DPS. And healers are like REALLY distracted DPS
Amirya:Why yes, your penis is longer than his because you hit 30k dps in the first 10 seconds. But guess what? That raid boss has a dick bigger than your ego.
Flex:I don't make mistakes. I execute carefully planned strategic group wipes.
Levie:(in /g) It's weird, I have a collar and I dont know where I got it from, Worgen are kinky!
Levie:Drunk Lev goes and does what he pleases just to annoy sober Lev.
Sagara:You see, you need to *spread* the bun before you insert the hot dog.
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Re: Relationships

Postby Fivelives » Thu Aug 08, 2013 11:08 am

Fear of being alone is never a good reason to enter into, or stay in, a relationship. Good on you.
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Re: Relationships

Postby Orthien » Thu Aug 08, 2013 6:20 pm

To be honest I am not 100% sure exactly, It could be a direct result of or just enhanced by the cancer and its treatments though she has her fair share of genetic medical issues.
Surrogacy is definitely an option assuming that she did change her mind down the road of cause.

Fivelives wrote:Fear of being alone is never a good reason to enter into, or stay in, a relationship.


Its amazing how many relationships hang around from this though. I have been there and I know a few people I am sure are there too.


Edit:
As much as I am crazy about this girl and think about her constantly, I can't help but think that I am doomed to heart break ether way.
Even though she told me she wants to start conversations in her own time so I am not getting too talky when shes busy I decided to message her just now after more than a week of nothing where shes been online all day the last few days.
Instantly it was all cold and distant and didn't last long before she ended the conversation.

I think the age old statement of "Bitches be crazy" applys here.
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Re: Relationships

Postby Era » Fri Aug 09, 2013 2:51 am

I don't know man, sounds like you deserve better. I'm sure she's wonderful, even if she can be cold and distant, but it's just not fair to you (in my opinion). Maybe she needs some space, that's fine, but no good comes of you hurting from a distance all that time. I think the best way to "take a break" or similar is to:

1. Both parties agree that it's just not working out at the moment. Don't have to agree just as much, but I think there has to be some level of realising that it's at least not as good as it could be.

2. But also agree that you'd like to be together, maybe in the future, at some unspecified time. In another setting, another place, another time. That you both think that it could work, just not right now.

3. Sever all ties. Even though realising there's a risk you'll never see each other again. Neither of you can properly "heal" or realise that you actually do want / don't want to be with each other after all, if the other is always looming in the background.

Maybe one of you finds someone else. Maybe both of you do. Maybe it lasts a year or two, or five, and maybe you then get back together. Or maybe you don't. Or maybe you realise it just wasn't as good as you thought it was. There's a lot of maybes, but you won't find out if you're spending your nights hurting over someone who won't return your affection. :(

^ Just my thoughts on the matter, I'm by no means an expert on the subject. :P
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Re: Relationships

Postby bldavis » Fri Aug 09, 2013 7:21 am

Era wrote:^ Just my thoughts on the matter, I'm by no means an expert on the subject. :P

that is what this thread is for
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Brekkie:Tanks are like shitty DPS. And healers are like REALLY distracted DPS
Amirya:Why yes, your penis is longer than his because you hit 30k dps in the first 10 seconds. But guess what? That raid boss has a dick bigger than your ego.
Flex:I don't make mistakes. I execute carefully planned strategic group wipes.
Levie:(in /g) It's weird, I have a collar and I dont know where I got it from, Worgen are kinky!
Levie:Drunk Lev goes and does what he pleases just to annoy sober Lev.
Sagara:You see, you need to *spread* the bun before you insert the hot dog.
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Re: Relationships

Postby katraya » Fri Aug 09, 2013 10:55 am

I don't know where you are now but being that Australia a big ass island in the middle of no where, it doesn't sound like a small thing to move that far. I'm all for the idea that it's better to regret what you have done than what you have not but in this case I don't know if that holds true.

It seems from your edit that communication is poor. That's a major issue since communication is the most essential thing in a relationship. And "I'll start conversations when I feel like it, until then leave me a lone" unless you're in the dog house for something major, is no way to have a relationship.

"Saying that, when things were going well while she was over here last she definitely let her guard down and did 'warm' up a lot, though from talking to her she still didn't feel nearly as strongly for me as I did for her. But if its still the strongest she can feel I spose its not to bad."

Sometimes the best another person can give is just not good enough. You shouldn't have to settle for less than a relatively equal relationship.

Finally, whether or not to have kids is a big fucking deal. If you're only willing to go further based on the hope that she may change her mind, I wouldn't do it. Even taking all the other stuff out about her medical history. If she truly does not want another kid and you're not sure you can live with that I wouldn't make such a big move.
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Re: Relationships

Postby bldavis » Fri Aug 09, 2013 9:49 pm

slight derail - finally figured out how to get her to talk to me again! i just had to break up with her!
i mean i had been suggesting skype for a fucking year, and the night we finally "officially" break up is the night she finally gets it

i will never understand women...but thankfully that is one i never have to deal with again
shit 3 years is an awful dam long pregnancy and that is the only thing that would make me want to talk to her again (gotta find out where to send papers suing for custody and a paternity test right?)
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Brekkie:Tanks are like shitty DPS. And healers are like REALLY distracted DPS
Amirya:Why yes, your penis is longer than his because you hit 30k dps in the first 10 seconds. But guess what? That raid boss has a dick bigger than your ego.
Flex:I don't make mistakes. I execute carefully planned strategic group wipes.
Levie:(in /g) It's weird, I have a collar and I dont know where I got it from, Worgen are kinky!
Levie:Drunk Lev goes and does what he pleases just to annoy sober Lev.
Sagara:You see, you need to *spread* the bun before you insert the hot dog.
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Re: Relationships

Postby Io.Draco » Sat Aug 10, 2013 12:33 pm

slight derail - finally figured out how to get her to talk to me again! i just had to break up with her!
i mean i had been suggesting skype for a fucking year, and the night we finally "officially" break up is the night she finally gets it



Of course that would happen. Had a girlfriend not too long ago who started to ignore me big time while expecting me to just deal with it. When I did eventually break up after 2 weeks of almost no contact I also sent a text message since she had not come online on anything during that time.

Funny thing is after sending that message the very next day she came online on skype in the middle of the day, something she almost had never done ever because she was "too busy", just to bitch and moan at me about how I should have waited.

Last I recalled I didn't owe the bitch anything. My mistake was even waiting as long as I did and in essence becoming her bitch for a time.
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Re: Relationships

Postby bldavis » Sat Aug 10, 2013 12:44 pm

sounds eerily similar...lol
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Brekkie:Tanks are like shitty DPS. And healers are like REALLY distracted DPS
Amirya:Why yes, your penis is longer than his because you hit 30k dps in the first 10 seconds. But guess what? That raid boss has a dick bigger than your ego.
Flex:I don't make mistakes. I execute carefully planned strategic group wipes.
Levie:(in /g) It's weird, I have a collar and I dont know where I got it from, Worgen are kinky!
Levie:Drunk Lev goes and does what he pleases just to annoy sober Lev.
Sagara:You see, you need to *spread* the bun before you insert the hot dog.
User avatar
bldavis
 
Posts: 7419
Joined: Mon Sep 07, 2009 12:04 pm
Location: Searching for myself. If i get back before I return, please have me stop and wait for myself.

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