Relationships

[Sabindeus]

not to change the subject, but...

how do i tell my becoming devout again mormon parents that i am atheist and no longer want to go to church due to my beliefs, and no amount of hounding will help, but regardless of my own beliefs and feelings i am still very proud of my 2 sisters wanting to serve missions for their church?

Do you live with your parents?

[bldavis]

yes due to trouble finding work in this economy

[Skye1013]

Are they relying on whatever income you have as much as you're relying on them? I ask, because that would determine the likelihood of them trying to kick you out. Be sure to have a back up plan, just in case (assuming you haven't already talked to them.)

[bldavis]

i am fairly certain i am not in danger of getting kicked out due to religion
its just i want to not be pressured to go back to a church i dont believe in

[Skye1013]

Totally understandable, and I have a feeling I might need to have that discussion with my mom the next time I come home on leave. I usually just do the passive aggressive thing (refusing to get out of bed or staying at a friend's house Saturday night) to avoid it... but I'd imagine it might be easier if I just talked to her about it.

Of course... the last time (according to her) she was more upset that I didn't visit with the people at church than my lack of interest in the service. So maybe that discussion would be moot.

[Aubade]

Totally understandable, and I have a feeling I might need to have that discussion with my mom the next time I come home on leave. I usually just do the passive aggressive thing (refusing to get out of bed or staying at a friend's house Saturday night) to avoid it... but I'd imagine it might be easier if I just talked to her about it.

Of course... the last time (according to her) she was more upset that I didn't visit with the people at church than my lack of interest in the service. So maybe that discussion would be moot.

Yeah my mother does the same thing =[

[Sabindeus]

Wow, that sounds like it sucks for all of you guys. I was raised atheist so I have no idea what that's like.

@bldavis: If you don't think they're going to kick you out then just tell them the truth and don't go to any more churchthingies. If your parents continue to harass you, you could always prep yourself for an actual philosophical argument, but it's probably best to just let them get it out of their system without arguing. The sooner you can no longer be dependent on them, the better. Good luck in the job hunt.

[bldavis]

thanx, the joys of living in a small town
(if 17k ppl is small to you, it is to me after living in portland for 9 years)

[Aubade]

Yeah, religious people tend to get absorbed in the culture, and when you decide not to be involved with that culture any longer it's like saying "I know how much you love the place where you get your personal affirmation, where your friends are, where you think my friends are, where my entire life is being confirmed to you as good, but I don't want to be any part of that any longer" So I can understand why it's rough for my mother, possibly BLDavis' mother, to be apprehensive about just letting that slide. Luckily for me, after about 2 years of my mother not speaking to me because of my "Evil" lifestyle (WoW, Dating women that weren't christian, smoking, drinking) we re-connected and she realized that just because I left the church doesn't mean I turned into this evil person, I'm still the same person she raised.

[Levantine]

Haha, Aubade's basically the devil.

On a related note, so am I. Yeesh, that was a nasty break up. By nasty I mean I came off as a total douche and broke his heart and I'm all like, you're a big boy, you'll get over it.

[Nikachelle]

LEV! Why'd you do that?

[Sagara]

Had the same thought. Last time, things sounded as good as you had could have them.
Simply couldn't handle the stress?

[Levantine]

I just wasn't feeling it. He got reaaaaaal clingy despite knowing that I can't do clingy. The more someone tries to get clingy with me the more I push them away. Also the sex was horrible.

I don't know exactly when/how it happened, but somewhere in the last two weeks he completely soured the idea of being in a relationship with him and I was all like, not going to waste either of our time. I think he did understand that I wasn't what he was looking for and he wasn't what I was looking for.

I'm starting to realise that what I want out of a relationship is a mate (who I sleep with). I fucking hate lovey dovey romanticism. I just can't do it and it's not what I'm looking for. Like, if my best friend was a dude or I was into girls, I would have wifed that shit already.

TLDR dun like clingy

[Barathorn]

/highfives Levantine.

Your honesty is very refreshing and will be rewarded I am sure.

[Aubade]

Haha, Aubade's basically the devil.

On a related note, so am I. Yeesh, that was a nasty break up. By nasty I mean I came off as a total douche and broke his heart and I'm all like, you're a big boy, you'll get over it.

Basically? haha