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Re: Relationships

Postby lythac » Fri Oct 12, 2012 4:27 am

justme07 wrote:
Nikachelle wrote:
firstamendme wrote:Papers filed. I had her move out, and she immediately went to this guy's place to stay and started sending him romantic e-cards about cuddling in his bed. Man did I ever make the right call.

Sounds like you did the right thing! Good on you for being strong.


could you blame her if you had her move out? Not sure what the main problem was but feels like might had been your fault too :?:


The main problem was -

firstamendme wrote:Trying to decide what to do when your wife of about 5 years messes around behind your back, lies to your face about it, then continues to see him (but not necessarily do anything provable) 4 more times and deny it each time is fun


So I'm going to go with not his fault. As for blaming her on moving in straight away with the guy she cheated with I don't think anyone is. It just confirmed that the divorce and asking her to move out was the right thing to do.

If the woman had decency she would move in with a friend.
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Re: Relationships

Postby firstamendme » Fri Oct 12, 2012 5:32 am

Also, I am a graduate student in university housing. I could not have been the one to move out as she is ineligible to have that housing otherwise.

Furthermore, after she moved in with that guy she told me she still wanted to make us work. There were other housing options, albeit difficult ones, but it would appear her choice was clear.

edit: Also, I never stated that the deterioration of the relationship was entirely her fault. I was not fulfilling her emotional needs in addition to other issues we both were having. However, her course of action was not to tell me and work through it, but instead to just find it from someone else, vehemently deny it even after irrefutable proof was obtained, and repeat the action again and again after swearing up and down it would stop. The problems were not her fault alone, but I can say the ending of it was.
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Re: Relationships

Postby Fridmarr » Fri Oct 12, 2012 1:17 pm

justme07 wrote:
Nikachelle wrote:
firstamendme wrote:Papers filed. I had her move out, and she immediately went to this guy's place to stay and started sending him romantic e-cards about cuddling in his bed. Man did I ever make the right call.

Sounds like you did the right thing! Good on you for being strong.


could you blame her if you had her move out? Not sure what the main problem was but feels like might had been your fault too :?:

That's an "interesting" first post on our site...
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Re: Relationships

Postby bldavis » Fri Oct 12, 2012 2:56 pm

i was thinking that too >.>
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Brekkie:Tanks are like shitty DPS. And healers are like REALLY distracted DPS
Amirya:Why yes, your penis is longer than his because you hit 30k dps in the first 10 seconds. But guess what? That raid boss has a dick bigger than your ego.
Flex:I don't make mistakes. I execute carefully planned strategic group wipes.
Levie:(in /g) It's weird, I have a collar and I dont know where I got it from, Worgen are kinky!
Levie:Drunk Lev goes and does what he pleases just to annoy sober Lev.
Sagara:You see, you need to *spread* the bun before you insert the hot dog.
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Re: Relationships

Postby Sagara » Sat Oct 13, 2012 12:50 am

bldavis wrote:i was thinking that too >.>


<- Guilty of the same as charged.
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Re: Relationships

Postby bldavis » Sat Oct 13, 2012 12:20 pm

Sagara wrote:
bldavis wrote:i was thinking that too >.>


<- Guilty of the same as charged.

guilty of thinking it or guilty of making the post :?
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Brekkie:Tanks are like shitty DPS. And healers are like REALLY distracted DPS
Amirya:Why yes, your penis is longer than his because you hit 30k dps in the first 10 seconds. But guess what? That raid boss has a dick bigger than your ego.
Flex:I don't make mistakes. I execute carefully planned strategic group wipes.
Levie:(in /g) It's weird, I have a collar and I dont know where I got it from, Worgen are kinky!
Levie:Drunk Lev goes and does what he pleases just to annoy sober Lev.
Sagara:You see, you need to *spread* the bun before you insert the hot dog.
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Re: Relationships

Postby Sagara » Sat Oct 13, 2012 1:00 pm

Of noting the situation. Didn't comment on it, but it did give a strange vibe.
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Re: Relationships

Postby Amirya » Sun Oct 14, 2012 3:26 am

I had to do a double take at the post count (which is actually just 1 due to a double post), and then wonder who the fuck is stupid enough to make that sort of comment while simultaneously admitting to not knowing anything about the situation in question and still placing blame.

"I don't really know what's going on, but dude, it's your fault too!"

I mean, seriously? If someone is that incapable of reading back a few pages, then either ask for clarification, or just shut the hell up.
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Re: Relationships

Postby Levantine » Sun Oct 14, 2012 3:30 am

Or it's actually her. Silly Ami.
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Re: Relationships

Postby Amirya » Sun Oct 14, 2012 3:47 am

That's true, I was just hoping for a stupid person and not a stupid female to make me angry for being a female.

I hate females who make the rest of us look stupid and needy and emotionally stunted (if you have to be any of those, just make yourself look that like, ffs)
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Re: Relationships

Postby bldavis » Sun Oct 14, 2012 2:30 pm

not to change the subject, but...

how do i tell my becoming devout again mormon parents that i am atheist and no longer want to go to church due to my beliefs, and no amount of hounding will help, but regardless of my own beliefs and feelings i am still very proud of my 2 sisters wanting to serve missions for their church?
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Brekkie:Tanks are like shitty DPS. And healers are like REALLY distracted DPS
Amirya:Why yes, your penis is longer than his because you hit 30k dps in the first 10 seconds. But guess what? That raid boss has a dick bigger than your ego.
Flex:I don't make mistakes. I execute carefully planned strategic group wipes.
Levie:(in /g) It's weird, I have a collar and I dont know where I got it from, Worgen are kinky!
Levie:Drunk Lev goes and does what he pleases just to annoy sober Lev.
Sagara:You see, you need to *spread* the bun before you insert the hot dog.
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Re: Relationships

Postby Levantine » Sun Oct 14, 2012 2:53 pm

Like that? I dunno, never had the situation where someone I care about is likely to tell me I'm going to hell for not believing what they believe/try to convert me.

Also lol at doing everything in my power to avoid seeing the boyfriend because ergh, relationship. Obviously not cut out to be in a legitimate relationship at the moment. Time to figure out how to let him down gently before I do something really slutty and break him into tiny angry little pieces.
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Re: Relationships

Postby Nooska » Fri Oct 19, 2012 11:27 am

@Levantine
point him to this forumpost?
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Re: Relationships

Postby Aubade » Fri Oct 19, 2012 5:28 pm

@BLDavis All you can do is be honest with your beliefs and hope that they respect you enough to respect that. Although I do know it's harder for Mormons to understand than most religions. I hope you don't get ex-communicated =[

@Levantine. I love you, so here's some tough love..

Just stay in the relationship and try to make it work. You can tell yourself you're terrible at relationships etc all you want, and you always will be if you don't get away from your fear of it and just do it. It's not going to be comfortable, it's not going to be perfect. But hell, just do it. You obviously have some sort of attraction to this guy, and he has some to you so just stay in it for now, and hope that he'll deal with your craziness and you will deal with his. After all, being in love isn't anything except being comfortable with the amount of insane that your partner has.'

Tl;Dr Man up and try to make it work. You'll never get better unless you try.
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Re: Relationships

Postby bldavis » Fri Oct 19, 2012 5:40 pm

Aubade wrote:@BLDavis All you can do is be honest with your beliefs and hope that they respect you enough to respect that. Although I do know it's harder for Mormons to understand than most religions. I hope you don't get ex-communicated =[

if i do, i do
hell maybe then they would stop trying to get me to go back

though it would just switch to getting me to repent of my sins and be baptized again :roll:
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Brekkie:Tanks are like shitty DPS. And healers are like REALLY distracted DPS
Amirya:Why yes, your penis is longer than his because you hit 30k dps in the first 10 seconds. But guess what? That raid boss has a dick bigger than your ego.
Flex:I don't make mistakes. I execute carefully planned strategic group wipes.
Levie:(in /g) It's weird, I have a collar and I dont know where I got it from, Worgen are kinky!
Levie:Drunk Lev goes and does what he pleases just to annoy sober Lev.
Sagara:You see, you need to *spread* the bun before you insert the hot dog.
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Re: Relationships

Postby Sabindeus » Mon Oct 22, 2012 2:27 pm

bldavis wrote:not to change the subject, but...

how do i tell my becoming devout again mormon parents that i am atheist and no longer want to go to church due to my beliefs, and no amount of hounding will help, but regardless of my own beliefs and feelings i am still very proud of my 2 sisters wanting to serve missions for their church?


Do you live with your parents?
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Re: Relationships

Postby bldavis » Mon Oct 22, 2012 2:49 pm

yes due to trouble finding work in this economy
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Brekkie:Tanks are like shitty DPS. And healers are like REALLY distracted DPS
Amirya:Why yes, your penis is longer than his because you hit 30k dps in the first 10 seconds. But guess what? That raid boss has a dick bigger than your ego.
Flex:I don't make mistakes. I execute carefully planned strategic group wipes.
Levie:(in /g) It's weird, I have a collar and I dont know where I got it from, Worgen are kinky!
Levie:Drunk Lev goes and does what he pleases just to annoy sober Lev.
Sagara:You see, you need to *spread* the bun before you insert the hot dog.
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Re: Relationships

Postby Skye1013 » Mon Oct 22, 2012 5:01 pm

Are they relying on whatever income you have as much as you're relying on them? I ask, because that would determine the likelihood of them trying to kick you out. Be sure to have a back up plan, just in case (assuming you haven't already talked to them.)
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Re: Relationships

Postby bldavis » Mon Oct 22, 2012 5:20 pm

i am fairly certain i am not in danger of getting kicked out due to religion
its just i want to not be pressured to go back to a church i dont believe in
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Brekkie:Tanks are like shitty DPS. And healers are like REALLY distracted DPS
Amirya:Why yes, your penis is longer than his because you hit 30k dps in the first 10 seconds. But guess what? That raid boss has a dick bigger than your ego.
Flex:I don't make mistakes. I execute carefully planned strategic group wipes.
Levie:(in /g) It's weird, I have a collar and I dont know where I got it from, Worgen are kinky!
Levie:Drunk Lev goes and does what he pleases just to annoy sober Lev.
Sagara:You see, you need to *spread* the bun before you insert the hot dog.
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Re: Relationships

Postby Skye1013 » Mon Oct 22, 2012 5:42 pm

Totally understandable, and I have a feeling I might need to have that discussion with my mom the next time I come home on leave. I usually just do the passive aggressive thing (refusing to get out of bed or staying at a friend's house Saturday night) to avoid it... but I'd imagine it might be easier if I just talked to her about it.

Of course... the last time (according to her) she was more upset that I didn't visit with the people at church than my lack of interest in the service. So maybe that discussion would be moot.
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"Here are the values that I stand for: I stand for honesty, equality, kindness, compassion, treating people the way you wanna be treated, and helping those in need. To me, those are traditional values. That’s what I stand for." -Ellen Degeneres
"I'm not going to censor myself to comfort your ignorance." -Jon Stewart
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Re: Relationships

Postby Aubade » Mon Oct 22, 2012 6:13 pm

Skye1013 wrote:Totally understandable, and I have a feeling I might need to have that discussion with my mom the next time I come home on leave. I usually just do the passive aggressive thing (refusing to get out of bed or staying at a friend's house Saturday night) to avoid it... but I'd imagine it might be easier if I just talked to her about it.

Of course... the last time (according to her) she was more upset that I didn't visit with the people at church than my lack of interest in the service. So maybe that discussion would be moot.


Yeah my mother does the same thing =[
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Re: Relationships

Postby Sabindeus » Mon Oct 22, 2012 9:41 pm

Wow, that sounds like it sucks for all of you guys. I was raised atheist so I have no idea what that's like.

@bldavis: If you don't think they're going to kick you out then just tell them the truth and don't go to any more churchthingies. If your parents continue to harass you, you could always prep yourself for an actual philosophical argument, but it's probably best to just let them get it out of their system without arguing. The sooner you can no longer be dependent on them, the better. Good luck in the job hunt.
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Re: Relationships

Postby bldavis » Mon Oct 22, 2012 11:21 pm

thanx, the joys of living in a small town
(if 17k ppl is small to you, it is to me after living in portland for 9 years)
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Brekkie:Tanks are like shitty DPS. And healers are like REALLY distracted DPS
Amirya:Why yes, your penis is longer than his because you hit 30k dps in the first 10 seconds. But guess what? That raid boss has a dick bigger than your ego.
Flex:I don't make mistakes. I execute carefully planned strategic group wipes.
Levie:(in /g) It's weird, I have a collar and I dont know where I got it from, Worgen are kinky!
Levie:Drunk Lev goes and does what he pleases just to annoy sober Lev.
Sagara:You see, you need to *spread* the bun before you insert the hot dog.
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Re: Relationships

Postby Aubade » Tue Oct 23, 2012 4:26 am

Yeah, religious people tend to get absorbed in the culture, and when you decide not to be involved with that culture any longer it's like saying "I know how much you love the place where you get your personal affirmation, where your friends are, where you think my friends are, where my entire life is being confirmed to you as good, but I don't want to be any part of that any longer" So I can understand why it's rough for my mother, possibly BLDavis' mother, to be apprehensive about just letting that slide. Luckily for me, after about 2 years of my mother not speaking to me because of my "Evil" lifestyle (WoW, Dating women that weren't christian, smoking, drinking) we re-connected and she realized that just because I left the church doesn't mean I turned into this evil person, I'm still the same person she raised.
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Re: Relationships

Postby Levantine » Tue Oct 23, 2012 5:55 am

Haha, Aubade's basically the devil.

On a related note, so am I. Yeesh, that was a nasty break up. By nasty I mean I came off as a total douche and broke his heart and I'm all like, you're a big boy, you'll get over it.
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